Take this Longing

Well this post has been a long time coming... and then again... I only thought of it last Thursday... I don't know what I mean but that but I am sure I mean it.... Everyone who knows me knows that I like Leonard Cohen... but not everyone knows who he is or has even heard his songs... I know most people will probably skip this post but I think some of you should probably stick around... You might gain some insight on why things turned out the way they did...

This is a list of some of my favorite Leonard Cohen love songs... They are not the top ones because I could not find some of the ones I wanted... Like "Always"... Some of them are not even sung by Cohen and some are just fan made films... But its the essence of the song that must get through... The essence of the moment that must survive...

Really... really...


The Traitor: As long as there is a relationship... of any kind... there are expectations... No one says, "I love you." and not expect anything... And then proceeds to say, "I don't care." In the end just make sure to say you are sorry and that you enjoyed your time together before you say goodbye.
But I lingered on her thighs a fatal moment
I kissed her lips as though I thirsted still
My falsity had stung me like a hornet
The poison sank and it paralyzed my will


Tonight Will Be Fine: Ok so these first two songs are not sung by Leonard but they are written by him. This like many songs from this list inspire hope... I think love, more than anything else, brings you hope... Hope that the future will be work out and that the past can change...
Oh sometimes I see her undressing for me,
she's the soft naked lady love meant her to be
and she's moving her body so brave and so free.
If I've got to remember that's a fine memory.


Hallelujah: I remember when I used to work in retail I used to listen to this song over and over again... There was this one Christmas... I walked out to my car listening to this song and I as I got to my car I broke down crying. I dropped my keys in the snow and I held myself up against the car by putting my hand on the window. By the time the song ended I had melted a hand print in the ice on the window with the heat of my hand. It was awful... But then again... This song was in Shrek. Remember.
I've seen your flag on the marble arch
but love is not a victory march
it's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah


Dance Me to the End of Love: This song says so much about a relationship. as many Cohen songs do. At the beginning you think that nothing will stop it and then the wrong thing happens and with one sentence it is all gone. I like this song because it speaks to the power or love as well as it's frailty. I remember walking through the empty hallways of the mall listening to this song over and over again like it was in some goddamn Fred Astaire dance studio.
Oh let me see your beauty when the witnesses are gone
Let me feel you moving like they do in Babylon
Show me slowly what I only know the limits of
and Dance me to the end of love


So Long Marianne: At the end of any relationship you realized that you have to just let things pass. Hating the other person, or even being mean to them is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die. This song really says that even though you are not as strong as the other person you still have hope enough that you will make it...
For now I need your hidden love
I'm cold as a new razor blade
You left when I told you I was curious
I never said that I was brave.


Chelsea Hotel 2: Occasionally a person looks back on their past and realizes that no matter how seedy or unconventional, it was all still considered love. A few nights or a few seconds can still amount to so much passion that will last for years...
I remember you well in the Chelsea Hotel
you were famous, your heart was a legend
You told me again you preferred handsome men
but for me you would make an exception


Take This Waltz: Sometimes as one looks back, there are some fun times that you will always remember... You romanticize something that was was never possible to begin with... The thing that this songs really says a lot of is that you have to look at that those moments with fondness no matter what...
Theres an attic where children are playing
Where I've got to lie down with you soon
In a dream of Hungarian lanterns
In the mist of some sweet afternoon


Be for Real: From the ashes of loneliness there are those times that you look for someone... Anyone... Someone to help you through that moment... But you really hope that the person is going to be there through the thick of it... Who will not just come back when they need you... Or when they have time for you... Kind of like purgatory...
I just would like to believe, ah what you tell me.
So don't give me the world today
And tomorrow take it away.
You see I, I don't want to be hurt by love again.


I'm Your Man: Cohen wrote this song when he had fallen in bad graces with the woman he loved... He wrote this song, as he said, "To worm his way back into her heart." I think sometimes you just have to let the other person know how you feel... And sometimes you have to be as blunt and as humble as possible at the same time... because that is what it takes...
Or I'd crawl to you baby and Id fall at your feet
And I'd howl at your beauty like a dog in heat
And Id claw at your heart and Id tear at your sheet
I'd say please, please. I'm your man


Ok thats enough... I can't talk right now... Don't write back...

Christmas with Aliens vs. Predator....

Went to go see AVP on Tuesday... No review... Just these words... Save your money and watch this...

The top 100 reasons it’s great to be a guy

1. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
2. Movie nudity is virtually always female.
3. You know stuff about tanks.
4. A five day vacation requires only one suitcase.
5. Monday Night Football.
6. You don't have to monitor your friends sex lives.
7. Your bathroom lines are 80% shorter.
8. You can open all your own jars.
9. Old friends don't give you crap if you've lost or gained weight.
10. Dry cleaners and haircutter's don't rob you blind.
11. When clicking through the channel, you don't have to stall on every shot of someone crying.
12. Your ass is never a factor in a job interview.
13. All your orgasms are real.
14. A beer gut does not make you invisible to the opposite sex.
15. Guys in hockey masks don't attack you.
16. You don't have to lug a bag of useful stuff around everywhere you go.
17. You understand why Stripes is funny.
18. You can go to the bathroom with out a support group.
19. Your last name stays put.
20. You can leave a hotel bed unmade.
21. When your work is criticized, you don't have to panic that everyone secretly hates you.
22. You can kill your own food.
23. The garage is all yours.
24. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
25. You see the humor in Terms of Endearment.
26. Nobody secretly wonders if you swallow.
27. You never have to clean the toilet.
28. You can be showered and ready in 10 minutes.
29. Sex means never worrying about your reputation.
30. Wedding plans take care of themselves.
31. If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.
32. Your underwear is $10 for a three pack.
33. The National College Cheerleading Championship
34. None of your co-workers have the power to make you cry.
35. You don't have to shave below your neck.
36. You don't have to curl up next to a hairy ass every nite.
37. If you're 34 and single nobody notices.
38. You can write your name in the snow.
39. You can get into a nontrivial pissing contest.
40. Everything on your face stays its original color.
41. Chocolate is just another snack.
42. You can be president.
43. You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger seat.
44. Flowers fix everything.
45. You never have to worry about other people's feelings.
46. You get to think about sex 90% of your waking hours.
47. You can wear a white shirt to a water park.
48. Three pair of shoes are more than enough.
49. You can eat a banana in a hardware store.
50. You can say anything and not worry about what people think.
51. Foreplay is optional.
52. Michael Bolton doesn't live in your universe.
53. Nobody stops telling a good dirty joke when you walk into the room.
54. You can whip your shirt off on a hot day.
55. You don't have to clean your apartment if the meter reader is coming by.
56. You never feel compelled to stop a pal from getting laid.
57. Car mechanics tell you the truth.
58. You don't give a rat's ass if someone notices your new haircut.
59. You can watch a game in silence with you buddy for hours without even thinking (He must be mad at me)
60. The world is your urinal.
61. You never misconstrue innocuous statements to mean your lover is about to leave you.
62. You get to jump up and slap stuff.
63. Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.
64. One mood, all the time.
65. You can admire Clint Eastwood without starving yourself to look like him.
66. You never have to drive to another gas station because this one's just too skeevy.
67. You know at least 20 ways to open a beer bottle.
68. You can sit with your knees apart no matter what you are wearing.
69. Same work....more pay.
70. Gray hair and wrinkles add character.
71. You don't have to leave the room to make an emergency crotch adjustment.
72. Wedding Dress $2000; Tux rental $100.
73. You don't care if someone is talking about you behind your back.
74. With 400 million sperm per shot, you could double the earth's population in 15 tries, at least in theory.
75. You don't mooch off others' desserts.
76. If you retain water, it's in a canteen.
77. The remote is yours and yours alone.
78. People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them.
79. ESPN's sports center.
80. You can drop by to see a friend without bringing a little gift.
81. Bachelor parties whomp ass over bridal showers.
82. You have a normal and healthy relationship with your mother.
83. You can buy condoms without the shopkeeper imagining you naked.
84. You needn't pretend you're "freshening up" to go to the bathroom.
85. If you don't call your buddy when you say you will, he won't tell you friends you've changed.
86. Someday you'll be a dirty old man.
87. You can rationalize any behavior with the handy phrase "F*k it!"
88. If an other guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you might become lifelong buddies.
89. Princess Di's death was almost just another obituary.
90. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
91. You never have to miss a sexual opportunity because you're not in the mood.
92. You think the idea of punting a small dog is funny.
93. If something mechanical didn't work, you can bash it with a hammer and throw it across the room.
94. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
95. Porn movies are designed with your mind in mind.
96. You don't have to remember everyone's birthdays and anniversaries.
97. Not liking a person does not preclude having great sex with them.
98. Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with: "So...notice anything different?"
99. Baywatch
100. There is always a game on somewhere.

We will always have Paris

As a young boy my parents used to send me to different places around the world. I think they always felt a little guilty that they were not around much during my childhood so they tried to make it up by sending me to different countries… ALONE!

Oh well... so by the time I was sixteen, I had gone to France (twice), Germany and Switzerland and who knows where else... No seriously... I never paid attention. I had also traveled to Maine to do some deep sea kayaking and New Mexico to hike 50 miles.

Well anyway...

Well the first time I ever traveled out of the country I was in Paris by myself. After a quick trip to the catacombs in Paris I decided that I was going to go to the Eiffel Tower. This trip would lead me to write a story about it years later.

As I was leaving the tomb I ran into some very nasty looking kids. Who for some reason or another wanted to mug me? Now I figured money was what they wanted but no. What they really wanted was… my jeans. That's right… They could have had the money I had in my pocket but seriously they wanted my Levi's. Can you believe that…

Finally after getting away from that bunch I make it up to that thing. What a lousy structure that was. Well after spending two hours on line I get to spend twelve minutes riding the elevator only to be told that the tower will be closing in 10 minutes. Well I sit down on a bench where I proceeded to fall asleep for FIFTEEN minutes.

That's right a 16 year old kid who does not know a word of French is now stuck at the top of the tower. Every elevator is closed, all the shops are closed and I am the ONLY person up there. Let me tell you, loneliness does not seem quite as cool when you are stuck hundreds of feet (meters. Sorry they use the metric system) in the air in some foreign country. The only thing that is open is the stairs. So there I go.. I start running down the stairs. One thousand feet down and I am running down the stairs… I used to smoke for gods sake. I am having a hard time breathing so to take my mind off things I start to think of interesting Eiffel Tower facts. Like the fact that it was built in 1889 (what is that in metric).

I just knew it... That thing was going to collapse. This thing was constructed for the World's Fair back in the Bronze Age and I am running down the stairs like they are stable.

When I finally reached the second level, boy, were those French guards pissed. You would think I did something wrong. Like it was my idea to spend the last twenty minutes going down the stairs... That was 450 feet and the least these guys could do was bring me a bottle of Perrier or something... Losers... If I was not such an outstanding citizen as I am now I probably would have said, "Hey, the Germans are coming."

Needless to say... the next time I went to Paris I just went to Notre Dame... and let me tell you about those Gargoyles...

I heart the 80’s....

Well after a few conversations about the 80's I thought I should write about it and show you my to ten favorite 80's songs. Ok but let us get this out of the way... This will not be a post about power ballads... So no Twisted Sister or Ratt... Sorry... I just like 80's songs... So here goes... In no particular order...

Tears for Fears - Shout
Let's start of with a band that did nothing after the eighties... After all they wrote this song because they were both going over trauma. Anyway... It was the eighties... Everyone was going through tramua... Lord knows I was...


Fine Young Cannibals - She Drives Me Crazy
In the 80's, it seems like nothing climbed the music charts faster than a song where the lead singer sounded like he was getting his balls squeezed in a vice. The worst instance of this was Journey but since I have already mentioned them I have to pick someone else...


Bob Seger - Old time Rock and Roll
This song actually came out in 1978 but since it did not become famous until 1983's Risky Business I am putting it here. Everyone knows that scene where pre-couch-jumping Tom Cruise dances around in his underwear. Go ahead guys. Try this at home for your little lady. Dance around like a tool in your underwear and if she really, really, loves you... she will still have sex with you when you are done.


Van Halen - Hot For Teacher
I swear, I would have been on the honor roll every quarter if my teachers looked like this. The Dawson knows what I am talking about when they had this song in Varsity Blues. And Roth... well... I am glad that you tried to be a game show host but just leave us out of it...


Gloria Gaynor - I will survive
I remember I was listening to this song in the car once... I was driving down the palisades towards the bridge and this song came on. Well this song came on and I turned the radio up to sing along... I am totally singing out loud when I get to the tollbooths by the bridge. I roll down the window (still singing... mind you...) and go to hand the tollbooth lady my money... Well there was this rather large African-American woman. She was not to happy to see me singing this song...


Billy Idol - White Wedding
James Marsters... Oh... I mean Billy Idol came up with this song it was to condemn the up coming wedding of his younger sister. And if you think about it... It's lame... For some reason this is the song that most people remember when others have actually gotten higher on the charts...


David Bowie - China Girl
This has got to be the most politically incorrect love song on the planet. But since it is sung by androgynous and ambiguous sexually orientated British man it seems fine. Might as well get a mannequin to sing your next love song because when the Goblin King sings it... it seems kind of creepy.


Paul Simon - You Can Call Me All
Well take the half of Simon and Garfunkel that actually has talent... Add Chevy Chase (while he was still good) lip syncing and you have music video gold. Too bad Paul Simon's next album not do so well.


Soft Cell - Tainted Love
This song has been covered so many times it's not even funny. But everyone remembers the Soft Cell synthpop version. The first time I heard this song was in 1997 when Spike Jonze featured this song in a Levi's commercial. In a brilliant move he matched the synthesized beat to the EKG machine.


Robert Palmer - Addicted To Love
You would think that a video with four hot chicks would be really interesting... But you know... It's not... And neither is the three other videos that copied this one... Here is a hint ladies... If you are pretending to be playing the guitar try moving your hands to another fret...
VIDEO

Despair in a cute package....