Friday, October 31, 2008

Halloween Quiz...

Can you identify the candybar by looking at the cross section?
Make a guess and click on the cross section to find the answer.


CLICK HERE!!!

Thursday, October 30, 2008

Election Day Week: Indecision 2008 Part 2

Diebold Accidentally Leaks Results Of 2008 Election Early

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Election Day Week: Indecision 2008 Part 1

"Dennis you voted against the Patriot Act" ...."Thats because I read it"

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Election Day Week: Michael Palin for President

Monday, October 27, 2008

50 seconds, 50 impressions

Sunday, October 26, 2008

Creepiest Vegetables on Earth



More...

Saturday, October 25, 2008

99 Red Balloons Parody



Jugs and orbs and darts and gourds
Elmer Fudds and bouncing Buddhas
Sweater stretchers, lung protectors
Beach umbrellas, frost detectors
Scooby Snacks and snake-eyes dice
Jell-o molds and high-beam lights
Every day I probably use
99 words for boobs

Humpty Dumplings, Hardy Boys
Double lattes, Ode to Joys
Hooters, shooters, physics tutors
Bobbsey Twins and bald commuters
Double-WMD's
MRE's and PFD's
Snow-white dwarfs, Picasso cubes
99 words for boobs

Gerber servers, holy grails
Whoopee cushions, humpback whales
Flying saucers, traffic stoppers
Super Big Gulps, Double Whoppers
Pillows, billows, Don DeLillos
Soft-serve cones and armadillos
Pimped-out hubcaps, inner tubes
99 words for boobs

Midget earmuffs, warming globes
Strobes and probes and frontal lobes
Knockers, honkers, knicker bonkers
Smurfs and Screaming Yellow Zonkers
Tannin' cannons, Mister Bigs
Big bad wolves and Porky Pigs
Jogging partners, saline noobs
99 words for boobs

Two-point jumpers, Bambi's Thumpers
Rubber baby buggy bumpers
Rutabagas, Chi Omegas
Schwag the showgirls show in Vegas
Congo bongos, bowling pins
Fast-pitch softballs, siamese twins
Your claims I'm breast-obsessed are true
We're quite a pair 'cause I'm a boob too

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Friday, October 24, 2008

Marios Mistake

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Life Leason: Women Trying to be Cool...

Five fashion items that women think make them look cool but really don't. Big sunglasses suspiciously ab- oh wait, there they are at #4

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Life Leason: Everyone Trying to be Cool...

Ten items that you think make you look cool but really don't. Bluetooth headsets suspiciously ab- oh wait, there it is at #8

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

E = MC... What!!!

Monday, October 20, 2008

XKCD: A webcomic of romance...


Sunday, October 19, 2008

Coolest bench ever!!!!


Saturday, October 18, 2008

Best South Park License Plate Ever

Friday, October 17, 2008

Mac or PC...

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Thats how I roll...

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Why you should get FireFox

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

This new catfood tastes like crap

Monday, October 13, 2008

A Missile on Google Maps...

AWESOME!!!!

Sunday, October 12, 2008

Learn to write like an architect

Saturday, October 11, 2008

The NeverEnding Story: Finale

Friday, October 10, 2008

Not very Punny is it?



Game Genie to unlock her hidden secrets
I'd tap the start and select.
Now all she needs is a my zapper…
Now where is the start button?
Once you insert your memory card, you can button-mash, all night.
Push her Buttons…
She can blow on my cartridge any day…
She can handle my joystick any day!
She prefers analog to digital stimulation.
That controller is gonna need both hands.
Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B, A... Oh god yes!
Well, allow me to slip on my power glove...
What does the box look like
What?? Only two buttons? I need at least a Z at the back!
what's the esrb rating on that? (Now that I think about it… They are all pretty dirty)
Where do you plug the cable into her RCA jack & her coaxial port?
Wii version might be a tad cumbersome.

Thursday, October 9, 2008

Pi Shaped Crop Circle

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

PETA wants Lowe's to stop selling glue traps.

PETA wants Lowe's to stop selling glue traps. So, what do they do? Put a hittable young lady in a bikini and mouse ears and lay her on the ground. PETA protest always seem to work...

Click on the picture for the article

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Getting to know you Questions

You know that point in the relationship where you are talking to the other person a lot. You spend hours and hours on the phone and you don't care. You will spend every free minute that you have on the phone.

You end up with a $100.00 bill for just the text messages that you sent. Thats write I sent over 1000 text messages one month. I read some where that some kid had been clinically diagnosed with having a txt msg addiction because he sent over 700 messages in one month. That kid does not know the meaning of addiction.


Wow what can I say. Well anyway back to conversations.


Well when you are trying to get to know the other person you will undoubtlay ask a lot of questions. It can be a fun way on how to know each other. The only problem is... What kind of questions to ask. So this is the game that I think would be a lot of fun when trying to know someone... Here are the rules...

01. Question can not be a "yes or no" or an "either/or" question.
02. Question should open ended in order to stimulate conversation.
03. No copying the question. ie. “Same question to you.”
-- Note this does not mean that the questioner can not answer their own question after the answer was given but that does not count as a new question being asked.
04. A question shall not be repeated unless the person being asked does not remember their previous answer.
05. Questions must be made in an attempt to learn more about the person in question so do not ask what happened in yesterdays episode of "Will and Grace" or the weather.
06. The asking of questions should go back and forth, so that the last person to answer should be the next person asking regardless of a temporary break in conversation. ie. Sleep.
07. A question is a question and your question can not be substituted for something else.

Monday, October 6, 2008

Where My Heart Will Take Me

It's been a long road.
Getting from there to here

It's been a long time
But my time is finally near.

And I can feel the change in the wind right now. Nothing's in my way.
And they're not gonna hold me down no more, no they're not gonna hold me down.

Cause I've got faith of the heart

I'm going where my heart will take me.
I've got faith to believe. I can do anything.
I've got strength of the soul.
And no one's gonna bend or break me...
I can reach any star. I've got faith, faith of the heart.

I've known the wind so cold, I've seen the darkest days.
But now the winds I feel, are only winds of change.
I've been through the fire and I've been through the rain.
But I'll be fine ...
Cause I've got faith of the heart.

It's been a long night
Trying to find my way.
Been through the darkness. Now I finally have my day.
And I will see my dream come alive at last. I will touch the sky.
And they're not gonna hold me down no more, no they're not gonna change my mind.

Sunday, October 5, 2008

Concerned about carbs in your diet

For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.

1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

5. The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

CONCLUSION:
Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.


Extra Reading

Saturday, October 4, 2008

So you have a box.

From the context of the quote, there must be a displacement of locality which is different than the final result of the quote. If you were already outside of the box than you would only need to "Think!" Thus one must be inside the box at the initial state of the quote.

If you are inside of the box, then you must get out of the box to think "outside the box". To get out of the box must take a movement or disposition of one's self from within the box to the outer space of the box. To procure a method to get out of the box, you must first know what is the "the box". You will need to observe "the box" and dedicate thought about how to get out of "the box". Thus with your current disposition you must "think" inside "the box" about "the box" to get "outside the box".

One would have to build a definition of what is "the box". A box by definition would be a geometric shape of of 6 sides. It is most definitely not an "easy" task to get out of "the box" thus one can presume that simple actions of traveling in one direction could not help you exit "the box". We can then assume "the box" has an internal space, or region, of infinite distance. As one approaches the wall there will ultimately always be some distance epsilon which is great-than zero and of which limit is equal to zero.

No matter which direction in space one travels within "the box" there will always be some epsilon distance which differentiates between "in the box" and "outside the box".

We define "in" to be some metric distance within the bounds of epsilon from either edge, or border, region within the space of "the box".

We define "out" to be some metric distance beyond the bounds of the edge or border, region mutually exclusive to the space of "the box".

Thus we may mark "the universe" minus "the box" as "outside the box".

We have now defined two regions "the universe" and "the box". We can easily "think" in "the universe" as "the universe" is a super-set or group of "the box".

By topology, we may think of "the box" as a inner-region, or bubble, of the outer-region, "the universe", Thus it is possible to "think in the universe" but it is impossible to "think outside the box".

Let us define "the metaverse" as "the universe" minus "the box".

"Think outside the metaverse" is easily accomplished as we can state this as true.

We can now:

"Think inside the unverse!"
"Think outside the metaverse!"

but not

"Think outside the box!"

As we know "the metaverse" is a spacial region, as is "the box is a spacial region. As through topology we can change any spacially solid region into any other spacially solid region and perserve their fundimentality.

Let us change "the Metaverse" to be equal the same space and equvialent of "the box", such that "the universe" is composed of who "box like spaces" that make up the entire spacial region, "the universe".

We now can "think" "outside" of "a" "box" and figurativily speaking "think outside the box".

Q.E.D.


Extra Reading

Friday, October 3, 2008

The Dark Bailout



Joker/Riddler 08'

Simple Math

These equations should be taught in all math classes! From a strictly mathematical viewpoint it goes like this:

What Makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life?

Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:

If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M
N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

is represented as:
01 02 03 04 05 06 07 08 09 10 11 12 13
14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26


Then:
H A R D W O R K
08+01+18+04+23+15+18+11 = 98%

And,
K N O W L E D G E
11+14+15+23+12+05+04+07+05 = 96%

But,
A T T I T U D E
01+20+20+09+20+21+04+05 = 100%

And,
B U L L S H I T
02+21+12+12+19+08+09+20 = 103%

AND, look how far ass kissing will take you.
A S S K I S S I N G
01+19+19 + 11+09+19+19+09+14+07 = 127%

So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that while Hard Work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, it's the Bullshit and Ass Kissing that will put you over the top!

Thursday, October 2, 2008

Don't Vote!!!



If you want to send this to people... There is a little envelope icon at the bottom of this post... Put some emails on there... Make it happen...

Sexual Calorie Counter

It has been known for many years that sex is good exercise, but until recently nobody had made a scientific study of the caloric expenditure of different sexual activities. Well I found an artigle that breaks it down for everyone...

Removing Her Clothes:
With her consent .................. 12 Calories
Without her consent ............... 187 Calories

Opening Her Bra:
With both hands ................... 8 Calories
With one hand ..................... 12 Calories
With your teeth ................... 85 Calories

Putting On A Condom:
With An Erection ................. 6 Calories
Without An Erection .............. 315 Calories

Preliminaries:
Trying to find the clitoris ....... 8 Calories
Trying to find the G-Spot ......... 92 Calories

Positions:
Missionary ........................ 12 Calories
69 lying down ..................... 78 Calories
69 standing up .................... 112 Calories
Wheelbarrow ....................... 216 Calories
Doggy Style ....................... 326 Calories
Italian chandelier ................ 912 Calories

Orgasmic:
Real .............................. 112 Calories
False ............................. 315 Calories

Post Orgasm:
Lying in bed hugging .............. 18 Calories
Getting up immediately ............ 36 Calories
Explaining why you did ............ 816 Calories

Getting A Second Erection: If you are:

20-29 years old ................... 36 Calories
30-39 years old ................... 80 Calories
40-49 years old ................... 124 Calories
50-59 years old ................... 972 Calories
60-69 years old ................... 2916 Calories
70 and over ............... Results still pending

Dressing Up Afterwards:
Calmly ............................ 32 Calories
In a hurry ........................ 98 Calories
With your girlfriend knocking ..... 2419 Calories
With her husband knocking ......... 3924 Calories

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

The Word!!!

01. AGLET - The plain or ornamental covering on the end of a shoelace.
02. ARMSAYE - The armhole in clothing.
03. CHANKING - Spat-out food, such as rinds or pits.
04. COLUMELLA NASI - The bottom part of the nose between the nostrils.
05. DRAGÉES - Small beadlike pieces of candy, usually silver-coloured, used for decorating cookies, cakes and sundaes.
06. FEAT - A dangling curl of hair.
07. FERRULE - The metal band on a pencil that holds the eraser in place.
08. HARP - The small metal hoop that supports a lampshade.
09. HEMIDEMISEMIQUAVER - A 64th note. (A 32nd is a demisemiquaver, and a 16th note is a semiquaver.)
10. JARNS,
11. NITTLES,
12. GRAWLIX,
13. and QUIMP - Various squiggles used to denote cussing in comic books.
14. KEEPER - The loop on a belt that keeps the end in place after it has passed through the buckle.
15. KICK or PUNT - The indentation at the bottom of some wine bottles. It gives added strength to the bottle but lessens its holding capacity.
16. LIRIPIPE - The long tail on a graduate's academic hood.
17. MINIMUS - The little finger or toe.
18. NEF - An ornamental stand in the shape of a ship.
19. OBDORMITION - The numbness caused by pressure on a nerve; when a limb is 'asleep'.
20. OCTOTHORPE - The symbol '#' on a telephone handset. Bell Labs' engineer Don Macpherson created the word in the 1960s by combining octo-, as in eight, with the name of one of his favourite athletes, 1912 Olympic decathlon champion Jim Thorpe.
21. OPHRYON - The space between the eyebrows on a line with the top of the eye sockets.
22. PEEN - The end of a hammer head opposite the striking face.
23. PHOSPHENES - The lights you see when you close your eyes hard. Technically the luminous impressions are due to the excitation of the retina caused by pressure on the eyeball.
24. PURLICUE - The space between the thumb and extended forefinger.
25. RASCETA - Creases on the inside of the wrist.
26. ROWEL - The revolving star on the back of a cowboy's spurs.
27. SADDLE - The rounded part on the top of a matchbook.
28. SCROOP - The rustle of silk.
29. SNORKEL BOX - A mailbox with a protruding receiver to allow people to deposit mail without leaving their cars.
30. SPRAINTS - Otter dung.
31. TANG - The projecting prong on a tool or instrument.
32. WAMBLE - Stomach rumbling.
33. ZARF - A holder for a handleless coffee cup.


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