The Other Day...

So the other day I got this email... it's one of those emails that everyone just hits the forward button and sends it to all their friends with out adding anything to it. They never add anything new they just send it because they think it's clever and cute. Well i was tired of that so I decided to answer the stupid questions and call it a day

Only in America ...do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
...The reason for this is because pharmacists were treated in much the same way that alchemists were treated and thus they were relegated to the back of the store with this soda pop machines. Yes pharmacists were the first people to sell soda pop because of their medicinal properties.

Only in America...do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke!
...They like the taste. There are people out there who actually like the taste of diet better.

Only in America...do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
...People steal the pens. Now if that said they left the vault open then that would be different.

Only in America...do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
...That's because people are vain and they want to show off their nice cars. If you walk through Piermont this is very evident. In every drive way you will see a Mercedes as well as a Ford Escort.

Only in America...do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
...The reason why is because the history of hot dogs and and buns have actually developed differently over time. Of Of course a hot dog is really just a sausage and sausages go back to the ninth century B.C. when they were mentioned in Homers "Odyssey." In 1904 during the Louisiana Purchase Expedition Anton Feuchtwanger was giving out sausages along with gloves to handle the meat. When he did not get his gloves back his brother designed the bun we know today. From there bakers used a standard tray to make the buns. It did not matter how many buns where made per tray because before 1940 (when hot dogs were offered in cellophane packaging of ten to make then a convenient 1 pound) butchers used to just have long strings of hot dogs so one could buy how ever many they wanted.

Only in America...do we use the word "politics" to describe the process so well: "Poli" in Latin meaning "many" and "tics" meaning "bloodsucking creatures."
..."Tic" is not a word but "tick." Also any blood sucking arthropod this included both families of ticks, the Ixodidae (hard ticks), and Argasidae (soft ticks) only sucks blood to some degree and actually they spit the blood back out that's how disease is transmitted.

Only in America...do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.
...That's because regular ATM machines have Braille. The ATM machines that they put in drive-up ATM locations are the same ones they just change the location thus they have the same buttons.


EVER WONDER .....

Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin ?
...It bleaches out hair because it's decomposes it and it darkens out skin because of melanin.

Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?
...They are stretching their face so they can get the mascara everywhere.

Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
...Psychics are always too busy trying to figure out stupid things for other stupid people things to play the lottery... like how uncle Fred is doing in the after life... And if you want the real winning numbers look in a fortune cookie.

Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?
...The word "abbreviated" comes from the word L.L. abbreviationem (nom. abbreviatio). In Latin the word was used to shorten anything not just other words. I you notice that the route word "abbreviate" is only 10 letters while on the other hand "abbreviatio" is 11 letters.

Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?
...The noun is from 1421, originally as practise, from O.Fr. pratiser, from M.L. practicare. Also as practik, which survived in parallel into 19c. Practiced "expert" is from 1568. So the word practice actually derives from a word that used to mean or was a synonym to "expert."

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
...If the lemon juice sits for a long time then it is not good to eat but it is good to wash your dishes with. The cellular cohesion of the vitamin C molecules are the first things to break down.

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
...1377, from Anglo-Norm. brocour "small trader," from Anglo-Fr. abrokur "retailer of wine, tapster," perhaps Port. While the word "broke" has no relation to "broker" it does seem to be similar thus confusing.

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
...The word "rush" in "rush hour" is used to describe people's state of minds. Because everyone in the world thinks that they are too important to sit in traffic. They all have to hurry home so they can sit on the couch in front of the TV and ignore their wives.

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
...There is no mouse-flavored cat food because cats don't really eat mice they just play with them and then kill them. They just hunt the mice. Like any animal they eat when they are hungry and when they are hungry they eat anything. Plus my cat told me that mice taste just like chicken.

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
...Since Noah was always busy cleaning out all the crap from all the animal pens the mosquitoes did not bother him. Not to mention the fact that is only the female mosquito that sucks blood and since they only live for 14 days he probably did not have to worry too much about it. What about the termites?

Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
...Any and all medical procedures must follow a certain protocol. Not just to protect the patient but also the practitioner. I do not think there really is a market for used needles.

You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!
...The metal that the black box is made out of is actually a rather strong metal. It is strong thus it is very dense. If they whole plane was the same density as the metal of the black box then it would be too heavy to fly.

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
...On the sheep, the hair is coated with their body oil and protected from elements. In a garment, it is woven and fibrous and cleaned -- susceptible to curling when wet thus shortening the length of the fibers and shrinking up. The wool shrinks only after it has been spun in a certain fashion. There are different ways in which to spin sheep's wool. That's why on the inside of a well made suit jacket there is a little swirl wool symbol that is called the Woolmark tells you how it was spun. Sort of like an FDA thing for wool. If you don't see the symbol you just got ripped off because there is ifferent processing and lesser quality of wool.

Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
...The reason why they are called apartments is because they are separate (as in entrance and you do not see the other person) not separate (as in spaced apart).

If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
...The prefix con in Congress comes from the word congregate.

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
...That is where the flight ends...


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