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Mushroom Kingdom

English pub wants Peru’s help to beat smoking ban

Apr 27 11:21 AM

An English pub is trying to beat the imminent ban on smoking in public places by asking for consulate status from the Peruvian embassy in London, the landlady said Friday.

Debbie Trevithick, from the Peruvian Arms in Penzance, Cornwall, south-west England, said the pub has close ties with the South American country and she has written to Peru's ambassador in London to ask for consulate status.

Lighting up in public places is due to be outlawed in England on July 1. Scotland and Wales have already done so and smokers will have to stub out their cigarettes in Northern Ireland on April 30.

"About 95 percent of our customers smoke and it would be wonderful to be the only pub in England where you could have a cigarette," Trevithick said.

"Obviously it is a bit of fun so we are not holding out too much hope. But you never know what might happen."

The pub was built by an 18th century Cornish engineer for his daughter with money from silver mines in Peru. Trevithick said the pub has maintained close links with the Peruvian embassy in London ever since.

She pledged that staff would learn Spanish, celebrate Peru's national holiday and may even get a pet llama if they secure consulate status.

Perks of that could include free parking, diplomatic immunity -- and being allowed to smoke on the premises.

Copyright AFP 2005, AFP stories and photos shall not be published, broadcast, rewritten for broadcast or publication or redistributed directly or indirectly in any medium


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The Traitor...

Now the Swan it floated on the English river
Ah the Rose of High Romance it opened wide
A sun tanned woman yearned me through the summer
and the judges watched us from the other side
I told my mother "Mother I must leave you
preserve my room but do not shed a tear
Should rumour of a shabby ending reach you
it was half my fault and half the atmosphere"

But the Rose I sickened with a scarlet fever
and the Swan I tempted with a sense of shame
She said at last I was her finest lover
and if she withered I would be to blame

The judges said you missed it by a fraction
rise up and brace your troops for the attack
Ah the dreamers ride against the men of action
Oh see the men of action falling back

But I lingered on her thighs a fatal moment
I kissed her lips as though I thirsted still
My falsity had stung me like a hornet
The poison sank and it paralysed my will

I could not move to warn all the younger soldiers
that they had been deserted from above
So on battlefields from here to Barcelona
I'm listed with the enemies of love

And long ago she said "I must be leaving,
Ah but keep my body here to lie upon
You can move it up and down and when I'm sleeping
Run some wire through that Rose and wind the Swan"

So daily I renew my idle duty
I touch her here and there -- I know my place
I kiss her open mouth and I praise her beauty
and people call me traitor to my face

Best "Out of Office" Automatic e-mail Replies

1. I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. Be prepared for my mood.

2. You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn't have received anything at all.

3. Sorry to have missed you, but I am at the doctor's having my brain and heart removed so I can be promoted to our management team.

4. I will be unable to delete all the unread, worthless emails you send me until I return from vacation. Please be patient and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.

5. Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the first 10 words and $1.99 for each additional word in your message.

6. The e-mail server is unable to verify your server connection and is unable to deliver this message. Please restart your computer and try sending again. (The beauty of this is that when you return, you can see how many in-duh-viduals did this over and over.)

7. Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system. You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.

8. Hi, I'm thinking about what you've just sent me. Please wait by your PC for my response.

9. I've run away to join a different circus.

10. I will be out of the office for the next 2 weeks for medical reasons. When I return, please refer to me as 'Loretta' instead of 'Bob'

11. I'm a VP...I only read emails from other VP's or higher and that is only if I like you...I have that right...I am a VP. If you got an auto out of office response...and you are not a VP or higher consider this the last message you will receive from me until I take another one of my 12 weeks of vacation. I am a VP (Vicious Prick).


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Star Wars Quotes and Sex

I know what most of you are thinking... Star Wars and Sex? These two words rarely go together... Well If you take anything out of context it will be funny. For those of you who have never seen Star Wars let me just say this... "Get out of my country you communist." Well for your reading pleasure here are my favorite Star Wars Quotes (in no particular order) that should not describe your Sex life.

You came in that thing? You're braver than I thought.

Aren't you kinda short to be a stormtrooper?

"I'm your father."

Get in there, you big furry oaf! I don't care what you smell!

Even I get boarded sometimes. Do you think I had a choice?

I know it smells bad, but it will keep you warm.

Size matters not. Look at me. Judge me by my size, do you? Hmm? Hmm. And well you should not."

Do or do not. There is no try.

Laugh it up, fuzzball!!

She may not look like much, but she's got it where it counts, kid.

You cannot resist the power of the Dark Side.

The target area is only two meters wide.

She's your sister.

Ten thousand? I could almost buy my own ship for that!

Your father wanted you to have this when you were old enough, but your uncle wouldn't allow it.

I will make it legal.


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Boat Load of Maxim...

Well this is is the followup to my previous "Boat Load of YouTube" post... I hope you like it... It seems like most of the internet is based up of lists... Well try to wrap your mind around this... This is a list of list... How about that... How is that cool... I know... I am soo cool...

The 13 Best Worst Movies We Can't Stop Watching, But Totally Should
Admit it, once these movies appear on your TV, you´re physically incapable of turning them off. Wallow in the awful greatness of good bad movies.

Hottest Women of Horror Movies
We know you naturally fear women, but this time you may have good reason. Death seems to follow these killer hotties around everywhere they go.

Hot Women & the Hideous Men They Love
So what if you´re ugly? Being hideous certainly didn't stop these lucky bastards from getting themselves some grade-A leg. Read on...
Joystick or Sex Toy?
These days it's hard to tell the difference between a joystick for your console or a sex toy for your girlfirend. If you are a special kind of reader your girlfriend might be your console...

Wizards That Could Kick Harry Potter's Ass
Watch out, Harry, these wand-wielding veterans aren't afraid to hit a guy with glasses.

The Hottest Women in Comics
No male-Power fantasy would be complete without some elaborately drawn -- and scatily clad -- eye candy. We wouldn't mind being more than super friends with all these ladies.

The Sexiest Assassins
Death wouldn´t be so bad if these ladies´ faces were the last thing we saw before dying.


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