Roshambo...

Have you ever gone to shake someone's hand... You know a traditional hand shake. Then the other person does for the fist pound? Yeah well then you have those two seconds to figure out what is going on and change... You have to do the first pound as well so you don't look like an ass... Well here is my plan... next time... Just say... Paper covers rock...

Actually that makes no sense...

I understand how scissors can beat paper. If you cut paper you just have strips of paper... I get how a rock can beat scissors. Hey you bent the scissors. That makes sense... But if you cover rock with paper.. Nothing happens... there is no structural damage done to rock. There is no fucking way paper can beat rock. Is paper supposed to magically wrap around rock and leave it immobile? Why the hell can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students are they take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody. PAPER SUCKS!!! A rock would tear that shit up in two seconds... when I play rock-paper-scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my already clenched fist and say, "Oh, shit I'm sorry, I though paper would protect you, you asshole."

Since paper can not change rock or damage rock at all I propose that we change the game... Rock... Dynamite with a cut-able wick... Scissors...




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