Tears in the Water

The rain fall down upon the earth in a depressing staccato rhythm. Drop after drop fell on her as she stood there in the middle of the parking lot waiting. Waiting for what might never come. She had her arms wrapped around her body as if she was shy about showing herself. A shyness that had now creped up on her and she was standing there waiting.

He came up from behind her and looked at her. He slowly wrapped his arms around her body and she instinctively brought hers up. She brought them up so she was fully emerged in his affection. At first he thought that she was going to push him away and he closed his arms around her even tighter. Thankfully she did not.

Breath.

With one big enough breath the tears came. Sobbing. Flood gates opened up in her mind and she was able to finally let it all out. She buried her face into his chest and whimpered and wailed all at the same time.

"Why won't he come back."

Her friend did not have an answer. All her friend could do was hold her tight and try to make her feel better. The other three stood there and just watched. The rain falling on all five of them.

He knew what it was like. To cry uncontrollably for someone. Every convulsion in your chest just brings more sobs. Every cell in your body, every water molecule, tells you that things should work a certain way. Yet, for some reason that did not happen. He stood there, standing a whole head taller than her. He ran his fingers through her silky, golden hair while she tried to muffle her cries into his chest. Through out the night she had been playing with her hair swaying it back and fourth like some shampoo commercial. Now it was wet but still soft.

At that point he wondered about himself. He wondered about where they had just been. He had walked into that place being so depressed about everything. He listened to one of the songs while he rubbed the green felt of the table. The song that played had been the same song that had played on that cursed night. The white ball banged into the other balls and with each clank he remembered more and more and wished for ease of mind. That was the night so long ago.

A night that did not rain but some how he remembered water.

As he held her he could feel the wells in his eyes begin to water. All the thoughts of a secret life were coming to a boil but he could not let any of that out. He had to be strong if only for the woman he held in his arms. If only for her sake he had to control himself.

More tears from the sky. More rain from her.

She switched sides and cried on his other shoulder. She needed something. Before all she wanted was someone to talk to but now it was too late. Now all she could do was cry. All she could do was make his t-shirt wetter. She tried to pull away from him trying to bring up a veil of control. She was about to apologize about his t-shirt but he said that it was alright. That was the right thing to say and she continued to cry. Every defense, every mask she had used up until this point to shield her from the world was now useless. At least that what she thought.

In reality, they were just not necessary.

He knew this pain. A pain that only brings you to the edge of despair. A point in your life that when you return and tell others about it they can only marvel at the your resilience from falling into the darkness of solitude. A point of desperation where absolute clarity arises and one can do nothing but greatness with nothing but the fragments of your heart to guide you. They always wondered where his inspiration and his motivation came from. This was it. This horrid pain was the driving force of anything that he had ever archived.

She shivered as the rain soaked though her shirt onto her bare skin. Every drop falling on them dispersed itself until no part of them was dry except their chest since they were pressed against one another so much.

He gave his keys to one of the ones that were waiting and told her to bring an article of clothing from his car. She left and came back but she had come back with his martial arts gi. It was the wrong thing but at this time he did not care. The rain soaked on through.

More memories came flooding back to him. He thought of the the bruises he had acquired as he tried to deal with the same kind of pain. How many blows did he have to suffer before he began to forget. Countless. How many times did he have black and blues all over his arm in a vein attempt to forget. How many times did he have to dial the phone while each and every finger was in sheer agony because he had just gotten hit there.

As he stood there the tears of the sky came down on them silently. As he stood there he wondered if any of them were worth it. Was anyone worth these tears. Was anyone worth this kind of pain.

One of the other people went and got the car and pulled it up next to her. He slowly guided her into the back seat. She put one foot in but stopped.

No she couldn't get in and leave. He was coming back.

Deep inside something told her that he was not.

She yelled out again, "Why won't he come back."

She cried some more while he gently guided her into the back seat. He held her head so she did not bump it getting into the car. Once inside she started crying even harder because she realized that it did not matter if he was coming back. She would not be there to wait for him.

He watched everyone else got in the car and and they all drove away. Drive away into the tears of the night.


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