From mySpace to Lj, back to mySpace... God I'm cool

Directions: Open iTunes/iPod or Windows Media Player to answer the following. Go to your library. Answer, no matter how embarrasing it is.

How many songs: 12,716

Sort by song title...
First song: '85 Radio Special Thank You --------- by: They Might Be Giants
Last song: Zwit Rwit ---------------------------- by: Idir

Sort by time...
Shortest Song: Not Myself ----------------------- by: Shakespeare In Love (00:01)
Longest Song: The Whirling Dervishes Of Konya --- by: Hamdulillah (39:05)

Sort by album...
First Song: Tumbaloflesicodelicomicoso ---------- by: Cruz, Celia
Last Song: The Wanderer ------------------------- by: U2

Top 5 Most Played Songs...
1. Hallelujah ----------------------------------- by: Cohen, Leonard
2. So Long, Marianne ---------------------------- by: Cohen, Leonard
3. Who Are You ---------------------------------- by: The Who
4. Echoes --------------------------------------- by: Pink Floyd
5. Dance Me To The End Of Love ------------------ by: Cohen, Leonard

Search...
1. "Sex" ---------------------------------------- How many songs come up: 2
2. "Death" -------------------------------------- How many songs come up: 0
3. "Love" --------------------------------------- How many songs come up: 73
4. "You" ---------------------------------------- How many songs come up: 113
5. "love" and "you" ----------------------------- How many songs come up: 22


Extra Reading

DRM Frerdom

#define m(i)(x[i]^s[i 84])<<
unsigned char x[5],y,s[2048];main(n){for(read(0,x,5);
read(0,s,n=2048);write(1,s,n))if(s[y=s[13]20]/16F=1)
{inti=m(1)17^256 m(0)8,k=m(2)0,j=m(4)17^m(3)9^k*2-k8,
a=0,c=26;for(s[y]-=16;--c;j*=2)a=a*2^i&1,i=i/2^j&1<<24;
for(j=127; jy)c =y=i^i/8^i>>4^i>>12,i=i>>8^y<<17,
a^=a>>14,y=a^a*8^a<<6,a=a>>8^y<<9,k=s[j],
k="7Wo~'G_..216"[k&7] 2^"cr3sfw6v;*k >/n."[k>>4]*2^k*257/8,
s[j]=k^(k&k*2&34)*6^c ~y;}}


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The top 10 unintentionally worst company URLs

Everyone knows that if you are going to operate a business in today's world you need a domain name. It is advisable to look at the domain name selected as other see it and not just as you think it looks. Failure to do this may result in situations such as the following (legitimate) companies who deal in everyday humdrum products and services but clearly did not give their domain names enough consideration:

1. A site called "Who Represents" where you can find the name of the agent that represents a celebrity. Their domain name... wait for it... is
www.whorepresents.com

2. Experts Exchange, a knowledge base where programmers can exchange advice and views at
www.expertsexchange.com

3. Looking for a pen? Look no further than Pen Island at
www.penisland.net

4. Need a therapist? Try Therapist Finder at
www.therapistfinder.com

5. Then of course, there is the Italian Power Generator company...
www.powergenitalia.com

6. And now, we have the Mole Station Native Nursery, based in New South Wales (that's in Australia):
www.molestationnursery.com

7. If you are looking for computer software, there's always
www.ipanywhere.com

8. Welcome to the First Cumming Methodist Church. Their website is
www.cummingfirst.com

9. Then, of course, there are these brainless art designers, and their whacky website
www.speedofart.com

10. Want to holiday in Lake Tahoe? Try their brochure website at
www.gotahoe.com

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New Car Blues (Revisited)

Ok so I had been talking about getting a new car for quite a while... A lot of you who are reading this never new my old car but lets just say the poor thing vibrated when it reached 60 mph. Not that stopped me mind you. It just sucked... One time I got a ticket in my old car for going 45 in a 40 or something like that. It made me mad because I had just stopped going ninety. If you are going to give me a ticket for speeding at least make it worth my while. It got to the point that there was this metal thing hanging from the bottom of the car and as I drove it made this terrible racket. I should have gotten the think looked at but I did not... I just pulled over ripped the thing off from underneath the car and went on my merry way...

Well needless to say I got rid of the car a while back. It died on the Palisades and I had to have it towed back to my house. Well I proceeded to buy a newer car. The one that I got was a Chrysler Sebring. It is a great car and I love driving with the top down... That is until... For I had decided to go back to work for the JoAnn's company again a while back. [More about that later.] I like it there and I was, again working with my friend DW and it was awesome. Well one day when I was doing an overnight at the store something bad happened. My day was already bad. I had gone to work at the branch and from the branch I went to the store. That's right. Eight hours at the bank only to work from 5 p.m. to 2 p.m. at the store. I think that was the day that we all went outside into the parking lot to have a few beers. So that is another nine hours of me framing in a dress shirt and pants because stupid me did not bring a change of clothes. If I had gone home I would have just take a nap instead of going to work.

Well anyway so the next day I take my little brothers and sisters to school [More about that later] and that is when I noticed it. That is when I see the huge dent on my car So big that I will have replace the entire quarter panel on the passengers side of the car. And of course since I only have liability for insurance there is nothing that I can do about it.

But I give it a try anyway I am on my way to pick up a friend in the city. Since there is a MTA strike I spend 5 hours trying to get down to the City Hall area of Manhattan from my house. That's right. A trip that took me 45 minutes for the return ride, took me five hours of stop and go. Well anyway... So I am talking to this person... I should have written this post 6 months ago when it happened but what can I say... I was going to tell the lady this show and sweet story about what happened and how I noticed it but she cut me off and instead starts asking me the dumbest questions ever. Here are some of the jems that came out of this ladies mouth:
---When did you notice the dent?
---Where you in the car when you noticed the dent?
---In that case... Were you wearing your seat belt at the time of the accident?

That's right... I figure if had been in the car at the time of the accident I would have noticed that i had a dent but since I was not in the car when I... YOu know what that lady was dumber than a bag of hammers.... I got so mad that I told her that I wished that I had been maimed in the accident. She just dryly stated that these were standard questions I told her I wanted to get into another accident while we were on the phone.

Well that's my story. A couple of weeks before Christmas I get a dent in my car... Thanks a lot who ever you are... I hope you get Herpes... and as for Saint Nick Up your chimney Santa.

Note: This post was going to be longer but I cut it short for you Beth.


Extra Reading

Man of Honor

Carl M. Brashear, the first black U.S. Navy diver, died on Tuesday. He was 75. He was born in Tonneyville, Kentucky on January 19, 1931. A real hero he was the inspiration for the 2000 film "Men of Honor," which started Cuba Gooding Jr. and Robert De Niro. He died of respiratory and heart failure. He gave 30 years of service to the Navy before retiring in 1979. He joined the Navy at the age of 17 in 1948 soon after the military was desegregated. "Hate notes were left on my bunk. People just weren't ready for a segregated Navy; they didn't want me to make it through the program," he said. At first he was stuck in the galley like most racial minorites but he overcame a seventh grade education and was admitted to the Navy Dive School. Yet through the adversity he still kept going and had a notabke career as a Navy diver. In 1966 he was recovering a hydrogen bomb that dropped into the Mediterranean. While on his mission he was badly injured and his left leg had to be amputated below the knee. He refused to be retired by being labeled as unfit for duty. He would go back to full service and four years later he would go on to become the first first black Master Diver in the history of the U.S. Navy.


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It's too late now...

You promised...

""This is the last correspondence. Don't worry, you'll never hear from me again.""


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Why Did You Come Back

The room where our love seems to ring
And the voes that exist always sting
Remembering the stairs with poems on the wall
Well I've awoken to the sound of your voice
But love, love is not trying to make a choice
Love is dilemma for the touch of Hallelujah

You have gone and don't want to take me
Should I get on my knee and make a plea
Remember the Linden trees that we shared
And I look at the dawn in total despair
But love is not some memory to repair
No, it's a padded room where I recall Hallelujah

Baby is this love that I am feeling
Dawn shined it's answer. No, it was reveling
But you know I have been feeling it don't ya
We sat in the place where the leaves fall
I don't remember that my back was on the wall
The graffiti there resonated the word Hallelujah

We have parted ways with some broken promise
Now I live my life devoid of her and powerless
You felt the warmth as we embraced didn't ya
Do we have the strength to see the light of day
No, it's how were needing god's help to pray
Kneeling and whispering, my lips shout Hallelujah

I was the stand in on his absent behalf
I made you cry and then I made ya laugh
All cuz' I used to tell myself those lies
I slept in the comfortable bed we keep
But love is not a goodnight before sleep
Nor is it a clogged and snoring couch of Hallelujah

The thought of you all through the night
Dawn of morning. It creeps on through.
Blinking, in bed, naked cuz' we did not sleep
The hangover of loneliness stays in my head
But love is not a drink next to the fire
No it's cold beers and smokes in a bar called Hallelujah

Baby I have lived my life on my knees
And while I was battered you head my pleas
But all he gave ya was bag of cheap gold coins
Yeah, We know all the good things we've done
But love is not trophy to be outdone
It's a beat up shoe, on display full of Hallelujah

Is the love we lived filled with empty lies?
I loved this girl much to her surprise
And since he had to ask you why I chose ya
I told ya, love isn't some perfect picture
Or the beauty described in scripture
No it is the flawed reality of Hallelujah

This smoke and this booze fills my soul
Still I consume them just to loose control
Yeah, the silence of the loud music plays on
The bodies dance. The party goes for an up swing
But this love is not something I can sing
It's only real while we are alone with Hallelujah

Drinking vodka to heal the emotional scab
Who can I get to be nice and pick up the tab
I hide somethings in the Ice Age of my heart
I wanted to love you fair and true always
But there was too much lust in those dusty hallways
And now I am alone, in pain, with a poem named Hallelujah

--Thank you for the concept Leonard so I can make this original poem...


Extra Reading

The Truth About Water

America has this weird drinking problem. There are those in America that walk into the kitchen and look at the faucet, and then they walk into the bathroom and once again look at the faucet and think to themselves, "Instead of using the water on hand... let us buy some." According to the Earth Policy Institute report Americans drank more than 7 billion gallons of bottled water in 2004. The world wide consumption of bottled water has doubled in the last six years. To ship all the bottled water need for a year the water producing countries spend 1.5 billion barrels of oil, that is enough to 100,000 cars for the same year. Worldwide, some 2.7 million tons of plastic are used to bottle water each year. According to the Container Recycling Institute, 86 percent of plastic water bottles used in the United States become garbage or litter.

Any one who has ever been to Central Park on a hot day will notice how many plastic bottles end up in the garbage. Unlike soda cans, there is no incentive for the homeless (or to be more politically correct, habitat-and-hygienically-impaired) to take them out of the garbage to recycle them. Every plastic bottle takes 1,000 years to biodegrade.

When someone looks at the price of a bottle of water the numbers are rather alarming. At this point I would like to mention that there was extensive research to come up with the following numbers. By extensive I mean I went next door from the bank and asked the cashier of the deli. I just pointed at each bottle of water and asked what the price was. A 1.5 pint bottle of Poland Spring water costs $2.75. If you do the calculations a gallon of the same water will cost you $7.34. Now that is Poland Spring. If you buy Evian the numbers become even more absurd. That same bottle of water now costs you $7.60. While everyone goes crazy when the price of gas goes up 10 cents they seem not to care when they are buying water. If you were to buy a 1 quart bottle of Evian the price per gallon goes up. If you buy a gallon of Evian water one quart at a time you will spend $9.00 for a gallon.

Imagine this conversation... You know what would be a great thing to sell to the American public. Water! Yes, I know that they can get the stuff for free but I still think that it is a really good idea. Then on top of all that, suddenly the doctors start giving out in their minimum daily nutritional value opinions. Suddenly doctors state that every one must have eight 8oz. cups of water. Thats $9.00 dollars worth of water. Imagine if you live somewhere thats hot. You might as well invest in an underground river.

Why does the American public seem to want to import all of this water? In chemical and taste test it has been proven that bottled water and tap water are almost identical. In a world were a significant part of the populous does not have access to clean drinking water we have to have it trucked to us from thousand miles away. It becomes a gluttonous way of life. It is not more sophisticated to drink bottled water instead of tap. After all what kind of sophistication can you show when you are throwing your empty plastic bottles on the ground. It is true.

The United Nations Millennium Development Goal is a set goal that is trying to reduce the amount of people lacking access to safe driking water in half by the year 2015. The world currently spends $15 billion a year on water supply and sanitation but they spend $100 billion on bottled water so its not really such a big deal.

Why is there such feeling in the public that we can be wasteful with the worlds resources when others are not so fortunate? Why do we Use air-condition in our cars on a perfectly nice day while others are dieing from heat stroke? Why is our country so over weight when we have children in the world that are starving? Why do we demand high speed internet access when others do not have electricity? We have toilets that automatically wash our @$$es and they have no indoor pluming? We have $250.00 shoes abd they use plastic bottles and some string to turn them into sandals.

Time to wake up... I gave up bottled water a long while ago and I do not plan on going back...


Extra Reading

History Over Science

A hundred years ago, as the nineteenth century drew to a close, scientists around the world were satisfied that they had arrived at an accurate picture of the physical world. As physicist Alastair I. M. Ray put it in his book "Quantum Physics: Illusion or Reality?," 'By the end of the nineteenth century, it seemed that the basic fundamental principles governing the behavior of the physical universe were known.' Indeed, many scientists said that the study of physics was nearly completed: no big discoveries remained to be made, only details and finishing touches. But late in the final decade, a few curiosities came to light. Roentgen discovered rays that passed through flesh. Because he could not explain them, he called them X-rays. Two months later, Henri Becquerel accidentally found that a piece of uranium ore emitted something that fogged photographic plates. And the electron, the carrier of electricity, was discovered in 1897.

Yet on the whole, physicists remained calm, expecting that those oddities would eventually be explained by existing theory. No one would have predicted that within five years the complacent view of the world would be shockingly upended, producing an entirely new conception of the universe and entirely new technologies that would transform daily life in the twentieth century in unimaginable ways.

If you had said to a physicist in 1899 that in 1999, a hundred years later, moving images would be transmitted into homes all over the world from satellites in the sky; that bombs of unimaginable power would threaten not merely the human species, but the existence of the world; that antibiotics would abolish infectious disease but disease would fight back; that women would have the vote, and pills to control reproduction; that millions of people would take to the air every hour in aircraft capable of taking off and landing without a human touch; airplanes could cross the Atlantic at 2,000 miles an hour; that humankind would travel to the moon and then lose interest in it; that microscopes would be able to see individual atoms; that people would carry telephones weighing a few ounces and speak anywhere in the world without wires; or that most of those miracles would depend on devices the size of a postage stamp, which operated because of a new theory called quantum mechanics -- if you said all this, the physicist would almost certainly have pronounced you mad.

Most of those developments could not have been predicted in 1899, because prevailing scientific theory said they were impossible. And, for the few developments that were not impossible, such as airplanes, the sheer scale of their eventual use would have defied comprehension. One might have pictured an airplane, but 10,000 airplanes in the air at the same time would have been beyond imagining.

So it is fair to say that even the most informed scientist, standing on the threshold of the twentieth , had no idea what was to come.

Now that we stand on the threshold of the twenty-first century, the situation is oddly similar...

-- Michael Crichton


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Only the first twenty...

If you sneeze and fart at the same time, does a vacuum form in your stomach?
...When you sneeze, it is your lungs that blow the air out. Flatulence comes from your intestinal region. Since they come from two different regions of your body they do not affect each other.

Why does triangularly cut bread taste better than square bread?
...It does not taste better. The only difference is that when a sandwich is cut into a triangle most people will eat it starting at the hypotenuses side of the triangle. Since this side does not have any crust on it most people like that side better. a^2+b^2=delicious.

Does a baby feel the umbilical cord being cut off?
...No it does not. There are no nerve ending in the umbilical cord. That is why the doctor can cauterizing the are when the baby has Umbilical Granuloma. Everyone forgets that the mother is probably relived to get away from the little bastard after nine months.

Is it legal to name your kid "Anonymous"?
...No you can name your kid anything. That is why you can your kid with the suffix "2.0" That's right... Not "II" as in the The Second or "Jr" as in "Junior." There is also some kid out there with the name Espn, as in E.S.P.N.. Cleveland Evans, a professor at Bellevue University, Nebraska, who has studied baby names in the US for 25 years, can tell you some stories.

Why is it that no matter what color of bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?
... There actually is color in the soap bubbles. When an incoming ray of light strikes the outer surface of a bubble, part of the light ray is immediately reflected, while the other part is transmitted into the soap film. After a ray of light reaches the inner surface it is reflected along the same path that it entered. If the crest of the two waves are in sync they will amplify each other in a process called "constructive interference." It is this process that produces the iridescent colors that is seen in bird feathers, insect wings and oil slicks in water puddles.

If you have a pet with 2 heads do you have to name both heads?
...While there are no laws to own a pet suffering from Polycephaly, if would seem like it is just plan weird. There is no need to name both heads because if one of them comes so does the other... If one of them does something wrong the owner does not know which one too punish so they will punish them both. What is the owner going to say to the dog, "Max I am hitting you with the newspaper because you peed on the rug. Now Sam... just turn your head and don't pay attention."

Why can't liquor freeze?
...Everything in the world freezes. Alcohol does not freeze because if has a lower freezing point. Every substance has one. For water it is 0 degrees Celciuos. Most people try to freeze liquor in their home freezer just like they do their Kool-Aid and soda. The ethanol in alcohol generally has a freezing point of about -114 C. Note: Tried to call maytag to ask what the lowest temperature that their home freezers go but I was kept on hold for too long.

If you dig a hole in the south pole are you digging up or down?
...You would be digging down. Directions for something like that are always relative to the person no matter where they are. People judge up and down by determining where the force of gravity is coming from. So if you drop an apple and then proceed to dig in the same direction then you would be digging down. That is why this question does not work China because the term down is used as a relative term.

How come they don't add the time that we are in our mom's to our age?
...Because it would only make the 17 year olds boys happy for a little while so they can get into the porn sites but it would piss the hell of the 39 year old women who can not stand the idea of being forty.

Why do people squint their eyes when they can't see? Wouldn't that just make it less space to see out of?
...No it does not make less space to see out of. That is why you can still see when you frown. You actually only look out of a small point in your eye called the iris.

What is a hacky, and why is it in a sack?
...The word hacky comes from the origin of the game when it was invented in 1972 by John Stalberger and Mike Marshall of Oregon City, Oregon. Stalberger was trying to exercise his knees to recover from surgery. They got a bean bag and decided to call the game "Hackin' the Sack."

Who was in the kitchen with Dina?
...They wanted to to play the banjo for her and since she was in the barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen she was not going anywhere...

Why do we have to pay a toll on "freeways"?
...A freeway is defined as a road where there people merging do not have right of direct access... That is why they have to merge. It was never meant to define a lack of speed limit or it being a toll-free highway.

Why do they call them pepperoni if there is no pepper in it?
...Pepperoni is named after the Italian word for cayenne peppers. Just like salami is named after the Italian word for salt. Pepperoni is actually the plural for peperone. If in Italy do not ask for a pepperoni pizza god knows what you will get but it will not be a vegetable.

How old does something have to be to become an antique?
...Once again antique is a relative term... something has to be retro before it is an antique. That's why people watch "I love the 60's, 70's, and 80's."

Can a school teacher give a homeless child homework?
...If a child is homeless he is not going to bother going to school he is going to look for a place to live first.

Why do they say "an alarm going off," if it is really going on?
...To "go off" is often referred to have something go active... such as a bomb or a telephone. This comes from the old days of telephones when to talk on the phone the handle had to be taken "off hook."

Do babies produce more spit than adults?
...No, but what little spit is produced those little bastards get all over the place so it does not matter.

How come French fries are not considered a vegetable, they are just deep fried potatoes?
...It is still a vegetable. The only difference is that it no longer has the nutritional qualities that a non processed, non-deep fried food would have and that is why it is often regarded as a non-vegetable.

Do cows have calf muscles?
...Yes they do it is just called something else... The gastrocnemius and soleus muscles from the calf muscle. Most people confuse the calf muscle with the first the gastrocnemius muscle because its name is derived from the Greek, gastroknemia, "the belly of the leg" or calf.


Extra Reading

Your Age in Chocolate

Don't tell me your age; you probably would tell a falsehood anyway-but the Hershey Man will know!

1. First of all, pick the number of times a week that you would like to have chocolate (more than once but less than 10).


2. Multiply this number by 2 (just to be bold)


3. Add 5


4. Multiply it by 50 -- I'll wait while you get the calculator


5. If you have already had your birthday this year add 1756... If you haven't, add 1755.


6. Now subtract the four digit year that you were born.


7. You should have a three digit number


8. The first digit of this was your original number (i.e., how! many times you want to have chocolate each week).


9. The next two numbers are YOUR AGE! (Oh YES, it is!!!!!)

This is the only year (2006) it will ever work.

....Zango!

I was surprised to find 2 profiles called "Zango". Both created on the same day and at the same time, one pushed a toolbar and programs designed to "protect kids from predators".


Imagine the scene...you see this profile floating round in mySpace, decide to visit it and a pop-up launches from the mySpace page, prompting you to accept a license to play a video file. If you do, you'll be installing the Zango Search Assistant and Toolbar. Of course, in this scenario, the license agreement makes little sense to the user. It's just some random pop-up, right? If you saw this appear from a "regular" site that installs Zango Adware, then you'd at least have to click a button to bring up the license prompt. You could argue that you knew what you were getting into. On mySpace, the average user is probably going to assume it's "from Tom", and as such is perfectly safe and endorsed by mySpace. A mySpace feature or something.

This is done by pasting the code for the movie file into the mySpace profile and having it autoplay when you visit the page, and have the license prompt appear. Easy as pie. Now, let's think about the core audience here - I have no idea what the concrete figures are like, but mySpace is (or was) all about the kids, right? Minimum age is now 14, their "safety tips" page links to a bunch of sites for online safety. Which just makes the pre-ticked check box for the Zango installer (18 or over) even more ironic and useless than it already is when applied to a landscape like this. Of course, video files that launch Adware aren't a new thing - though creating a distribution method like this is pretty inventive.


A quick scout of the site reveals it to be (what I consider) aimed at kids, or at least, surfers of a younger nature. Yet this particular page signals the arrival of a crushing wave of Zango installs (25 videos are on that one page alone!) Even better, each one proclaims "Add this content to your page!" No doubt eager mySpace users, desperate to have some "killer content" on their sites will eagerly cut and paste this code onto their profiles, unaware that to play these things, you have to install Zango Adware on the viewer's PC.


Oh look, no mention on that page whatsoever that you'll be offering up Adware in return for putting these videos on your site. Congratulations. Looking at his "Partner Sites". "mySpace Videos", they call it. I call it, another site that's pushing a boatload of Zango with no disclosure that the users running this code will be installing Adware from their page.

I'm not providing any "live links" to these sites, because many of them popped up adverts for things such as Errorsafe.



In all cases, I didn't see one site actually mention the fact that in return for these things, you'd be pimping Zango. I just can't see how this is right, but then it's all about the money, yes?

At any rate, the situation is this - set up an affiliate deal with Zango, then systematically create a network of mySpace-themed websites designed to entice users into placing your files onto their mySpace sites. After all, why go to all the trouble of pimping your own videos when you can have random teenagers on mySpace do it for you? Talk about an all time low - an innovative method of distribution, I'll give you that. But it leaves a sour taste in the mouth, all the same.

Now, Myspace doesn't allow you to accept payment from a "third person" in return for you providing any "commercial activity" on or through the mySpace system on behalf of that third-party entity, such as "placing commercial content on your profile". I'm almost certain what's going on here is against the Terms of Service. Hey - I have Tom on my Extended Network. Maybe I'll ask him...!


Extra Reading

Shine On You Crazy Diamond (Parts I - IX)

Remember when you were young,
You shone like the sun.
Shine on you crazy diamond.

Now there's a look in your eyes,
Like black holes in the sky.
Shine on you crazy diamond.

You were caught on the crossfire
Of childhood and stardom,
Blown on the steel breeze.

Come on you target for faraway laughter,
Come on you stranger, you legend,
you martyr, and shine!

You reached for the secret too soon,
You cried for the moon.
Shine on you crazy diamond.

Threatened by shadows at night,
And exposed in the light.
Shine on you crazy diamond.

Well you wore out your welcome
With random precision,
Rode on the steel breeze.

Come on you raver, you seer of visions,
Come on you painter, you piper, you prisoner,
and shine!

Nobody knows where you are,
How near or how far.
Shine on you crazy diamond.

Pile on many more layers
And I'll be joining you there.
Shine on you crazy diamond.

And we'll bask in the shadow
Of yesterday's triumph,
And sail on the steel breeze.

Come on you boy child,
You winner and loser,C
ome on you miner for truth and delusion, and shine!


Syd Barrett (01/06/1946 - 07/07/2006)


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Why the 4th rules

For the sake of the Fourth of July I am writing a very special Post. Granted it is a little late but hey, I have been busy. Everybody has seen fireworks, either on the Fourth of July or New Year's Eve or that time in Eight grade when "someone" threw that M80 down the toilet in the boys bathroom.

The two categories that pyrotechnic devices fall under firecrackers and sparklers. For todays lesson we will be learning the fist one. Firecrackers have been around since at least the Han Dynasty (206BC - 220AD) where their loud sound was intended to frighten evil spirits. Fireworks were first used during either the Sui and Tang Dynasties (581-907) or the Song Dynasty (10th Century). From there Fireworks have been used for celebrations. They were even used for George Washington's 1789
inauguration. The most major events in which fireworks are used are: Bonfire night in Britain, U.S. Independence Day, New Year's Eve, Indian Festival of Lights, Lunar New Year in Hong Kong, Maltese Petards.

Aerial Fireworks consist of four or maybe five parts:
Container: Generally this is a paper package shaped into a cylinder
Stars: This is the part that actually makes the sparkle
Bursting charge: A charge at the center of the firecracker
Fuse: This is what cause a time delay
Lifting Charge: This is not always necessary

The fireworks are shot out of a mortar which is usually a steal pipe. The lifting charge goes off and it shoots the package out of the launch tube. The lifting charge is not always necessary because the aerial fireworks can be launched using compressed air rather than gunpowder. Walt Disney was the fist company to use such a launch system commercially. Then instead of a fuse an electronic timer is used. The reason for using compressed air is that there are no fumes and the hight and timing can be better controlled. When the package reaches the right hight the fuse will run out and it will send the Stars out into the sky to create a great aerial show. Depending on the arrangement of the stars in the container depends on the shape of light show. There are nine different types of packing arrangements. There are shells that are made in multi break shapes so two or more of these arrangements are put into one package.
Palm: Large charges travel outward and then curve downward.
Round shell: Creates a light show in a spherical shape.
Ring shell: Instead of a spear of light this only creates a ring.
Willow: Shape of willow branches and may even stay visible on the way down.
Roundel: This creates a circle of shells that explode in sequence
Chrysanthemum: Like the flower this is a spherical shape that leave a trail.
Pistil: Chrysanthemum with a different center color.
Maroon shell: All this does is make a loud bang.
Serpentine: This sends small tubes outward in random directions.

The colors of the fireworks depend on the chemical composition of the stars.
Red: strontium salts & lithium salts,
Orange: calcium salts & calcium chloride
Gold: incandescence of iron (with carbon) & charcoal
Yellow: sodium compounds & cryolite
White: magnesium & aluminum
Green: barium chloride
Blue: copper acetoarsenite & copper chloride
Purple: strontium (red) and copper (blue) compounds

There... A simple yet effective lesson on fireworks. This is only for informational purposes. That is why there is probably a lot more things that can but will not be said in this post. Who knows what night happen? Some retard might read this and try to make something and then hurt themselves. Remember... if you do not know what you are doing when it comes to pyrotechnics don't play with them. Chances are you will probably hurt yourself or others. Worst you will kill yourself. At best your girlfriend will be opening up your ketchup bottles for the rest of your life and then the Fourth of July will really suck.


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Why Blondes Are Hot

If you light a match or start a fire, the hottest part of the flame is the yellow part. In the world of hair color, blonde burns brightest. Blondes have to be having more fun. Because when a blonde walks into a room, hers is the only head not to turn. Much like a flame, blonde hair stands out in a crowd. Even ugly blondes will get your attention, even if for a brief moment.

California has more blondes per capita then anyplace on earth, even Scandinavia, although Scandinavia is the point of reference for this pigmentation.

The most recognized and influential blonde in popular culture even after her death, is Marilyn Monroe. Hands down, no other blonde of any generation had the sultry staying power of Norma Jean. The original blonde bombshell introduced us to blue jeans on a girl's ass, was also on the first cover of Playboy Magazine; she married Joe DiMaggio and slept with Kennedy's. She never won an Oscar, she did drugs and suffered from depression, yet her memorabilia goes for outrageous sums at auctions. Even years after her death, Elton John wrote, "I would have like to known you, but I was just a kid, the candle burned out long before the legend ever did."

Pamela Anderson has the updated "blonde bombshell" style and look. This style is usually a big head of hair, glamor makeup and plastic surgery. Jenny McCarthy started her career doing the MTV circuit and posed for playboy magazine like Pam, but she has real talent and is the "goofy blonde" writing and staring in her own films. Another ex of Tommy's is the "backstabbing blonde tart" Heather Locklear. From Dynasty to Melrose Place she's the little blonde bitch you love to hate. Mattel can't even make Barbie dolls look as good as Tommy Lee's ex's. Yet, that little blonde Barbie doll is one the largest selling of all time, even little girls like the blonde girls.

The "smart blonde" goes to gals like Paula Zahn from news television fame. She is a true blonde with an Ivy League background and talent for playing the cello. What a catch, smart as a whip and the carpet matches the drapes. The "dumb blonde" poster child has to go to Paris Hilton. She is a natural blonde right down to her double digit IQ and single syllable responses. Paris' sister and her mother are both natural blondes... yummy.

Tara Reid exemplifies the "blonde party girl", with a constant college age look and a reputation for getting drunk and getting laid. She can party with the best of them and always looks good even if she loses her voice every weekend. I call Ann Coulter the "double barrel" blonde. A smart, well connected, politically charged author and mouthpiece with long legs, a great body, and single. She will get your attention either with looks, brains or both barrels.

If you want to cover the expanse of all men with a libido then lets not leave out Jessica Simpson. She looks like she should have been on Baywatch before anyone else with that bikini body and her combo "California Girl" look with southern charm. She is still a dingbat. Another of my favorite up and coming bimbos is sweet little jailbait Hilary Duff. So goes her title "jailbait blonde", need I say more? Believe it or not both Jessica and Hillary have younger "jailbait blonde" sisters pumping out chart strugglers.

At the other end of the blonde bikini bimbo babe battalion is the master of sex and spy games, 007. James Bond had his share of women but the blondes stand out. From Ursula Andres to Kim Basinger to Denise Richards every generation of Bond has a blonde heroine. Kill the enemy, save the blonde, have sex with her -- all compelling stories that Ian Flemming no doubt wishes he had been living.

The Gold Adonis

The boys club includes less consistent celebrity selection that generally has longer staying power. In Hollywood, as in fairy tails, "tall dark and handsome" reign supreme. Tell that to Brad Pitt. Pitt is one of the most successful blonde actors of all time. His flowing locks swaying in the wind while riding horseback across the plain in Legends Of The Fall are nothing to the bleached out mane on his crown in epic Troy. Every girl of every age of every country wants Jennifer Aniston's throw away.

The original blonde boys club belongs to Butch Cassidy & the Sundance Kid. Before Paul Newman was making "His Own" salad dressing, he was making movies as a blonde blue eyed babe, eventually sharing the screen with soon to be blonde independent film giant Robert Redford. When it comes to blonde men with talent in film these two guys are sitting at the round table.

Everyday Blondes

Some blondes are brunettes in disguise. As stated earlier there are more blondes in California then anywhere else, and not all by birth, which is for certain. The left coast has its share of imports of every ethnic race, color or creed and just as many boxes of hair dye on the shelf. The everyday blondes are the ones tired of their real color and migrate to Blondonia, the land of blondolicious wealth and attention. The everyday blonde is also known as an "imposter" blonde. Every few weeks those unhappy roots start popping out of the scalp to make you wonder if the carpet matches the drapes.

You can always tell the imposter blondes, they have a different energy than a natural blonde. The imposter blonde craves attention where as the natural blonde knows it is coming and doesn't worry about it. The natural blonde has no need to scan the room for suitors; they will naturally gravitate to her. If you really want to get blondes attentions, hit on the girl sitting right next to her in a social setting that also has blonde hair. A blonde's only competition is herself.

Among the everyday impostor blondes you have a sub-category that no man can seem to resist; the MILF blonde. The MILF (Mom I'd Like to F***) -- in real life and in movies the hottest MILFs are blondes. They have had a couple of kids yet they are fit and dress young with a wicked head of gold or platinum locks, all the while making sure that everyone thinks they are sexy even if their husbands don't anymore. Revenge is sweetest when it is served steaming blonde.

Next is the sporty blonde; she plays volleyball, tennis, golf and even softball. She may be blonde, but she is less feminine than your other everyday blondes, including the "no bearing blonde". The "no bearing" blonde is a girl who has so little going for her, that being blonde does not even help. Guys won't even come up from behind to see what she looks like. The "no bearing blonde" is the only blonde not having more fun.

Just Add Color

Black men love white women, but nothing says trophy to the black man, like blonde hair. Other than professional athletes most black men like their white women blonde and big. They want to see the ultimate contrast physically and visually when getting busy. Even BBBWs (big blonde beautiful women) have a following and that can not be denied. Black men have the market cornered here because you rarely see a white guy with a fat black woman with or without blonde hair, that's just freaky.

For years wealthy men from states of the UAE (United Arab Emirates) have paid ungodly amounts of money to blonde American women to come to their Arab palaces to "entertain" men. The American blonde female is priceless to wealthy foreigners who visit our strip clubs and night clubs. It is as if the darker they are and the worse their English is, the more they want American blonde women. I live here, I can see why.

A Rare Find

Among the everyday blondes, impostor blondes and BBBWs, you rarely see the bleach blonde dike. Lesbians don't seem to go out of their way to be overly blonde, using darker and subtler tones to almost disappear in the crowd. I can count on one hand how many blonde lesbians I know, and three of them I had to pull from my "bi-sexual" batch. I checked out some dating sites for this piece and found that among the bi-sexual women that were presently "unattached" that had ads posted, more than 60f the three sites I chose were blondes. So if you're looking for a gay blonde, you have to wait until she fully crosses over from bi-sexual blonde and catch her before she dyes it to dike. The rare find group can also include the "geriatric blonde". She is the natural blonde that's over the hill and yet still seems to grow naturally blonde hair when her friends are silver and blue. You won't have to work up a sweat chasing that cougar.

Role Model

Celebrity blondes, everyday blondes and let us not forget blonde models or "model blondes". These are your playboy bunnies, beer poster girls, internet models and supermodels and otherwise "non-available for local consumption" women. Remember Christy Brinkley? She was a hugely paid blonde model for her time. Hugh Hefner's last wife was Kimberley Conrad, a smoking hot drop dead blonde. After the divorce, that was not enough for Hef, he then went public with his seven (7) blonde girlfriends. They all live in the Playboy Mansion and follow him as an entourage. Donald Trump left Ivana (international blonde) for Marla Maples (blonde bimbo of the moment). Marla's claim to fame was her blonde butt.

WHY?

So why do everyday blondes get our attention with the glow of a celebrity? Why is it when a man is driving, a simple pedestrian will cause him to practically crash his car? Is it boobs? Is it money? Is it pheromones? Simply put, the light burns brighter. When we are children we are compelled to explore anything shiny. Objects that gleam, shine or glow get our attention, and are more fun to play with, including fire.

Men specifically are visual in nature when it comes to the opposite sex. Our peripheral vision naturally picks up the brightest or most evident color in our visual spectrum. Men are Pavlovian as well, with keen senses to the presence of women. The male ear is trained to distinguish the sound of high heals against loafers. The nose is trained to pick up the slightest feminine scent. And the eyes -- the eyes are always scouting, surveying for a visual taste treat. This is when the bright blonde babes stand out in the crowd. Combine horny men with the most visible women possible and you get, "blondes have more fun".

Unlike brunettes, blondes have many categories; platinum blonde, bleach blonde, natural blonde, strawberry blonde, dirty blonde, light blonde, dark blonde, frosted blonde, blonde highlights, toehead and many more. When your hair is bright, the "hello" factor from strangers goes up. Brunettes on the other hand are often labeled: striking, mysterious, and exotic (especially the Latin females, but that's another article).

Blonde has a fresh and almost "clean" look that is welcoming. We naturally see blondes as "softer"; softer is more accessible to all of us, thus commanding our attention. Everybody wants to have more fun, but don't think for a minute the Latina women around you are not having as much fun as the redheads or the Asian girls. But still the blonde has the most fun of all, and she's the Olympic torch of attention because we covet the soft bright feminine all American female.

-- Jackson Morris, 2006


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Finally done...

So I have been working on this project to import all my music onto my computer. I finally finished. I had traded my music collection with a friend of mine and now I am done organizing his files as well. I finished with this files and I have a total of 9,111 songs. Total listeing time.. 25.1 days. Hopefully now that I am done I will have more time for MySpace. Actually I am adding more files as we speak.


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