Why Blondes Are Hot

If you light a match or start a fire, the hottest part of the flame is the yellow part. In the world of hair color, blonde burns brightest. Blondes have to be having more fun. Because when a blonde walks into a room, hers is the only head not to turn. Much like a flame, blonde hair stands out in a crowd. Even ugly blondes will get your attention, even if for a brief moment.

California has more blondes per capita then anyplace on earth, even Scandinavia, although Scandinavia is the point of reference for this pigmentation.

The most recognized and influential blonde in popular culture even after her death, is Marilyn Monroe. Hands down, no other blonde of any generation had the sultry staying power of Norma Jean. The original blonde bombshell introduced us to blue jeans on a girl's ass, was also on the first cover of Playboy Magazine; she married Joe DiMaggio and slept with Kennedy's. She never won an Oscar, she did drugs and suffered from depression, yet her memorabilia goes for outrageous sums at auctions. Even years after her death, Elton John wrote, "I would have like to known you, but I was just a kid, the candle burned out long before the legend ever did."

Pamela Anderson has the updated "blonde bombshell" style and look. This style is usually a big head of hair, glamor makeup and plastic surgery. Jenny McCarthy started her career doing the MTV circuit and posed for playboy magazine like Pam, but she has real talent and is the "goofy blonde" writing and staring in her own films. Another ex of Tommy's is the "backstabbing blonde tart" Heather Locklear. From Dynasty to Melrose Place she's the little blonde bitch you love to hate. Mattel can't even make Barbie dolls look as good as Tommy Lee's ex's. Yet, that little blonde Barbie doll is one the largest selling of all time, even little girls like the blonde girls.

The "smart blonde" goes to gals like Paula Zahn from news television fame. She is a true blonde with an Ivy League background and talent for playing the cello. What a catch, smart as a whip and the carpet matches the drapes. The "dumb blonde" poster child has to go to Paris Hilton. She is a natural blonde right down to her double digit IQ and single syllable responses. Paris' sister and her mother are both natural blondes... yummy.

Tara Reid exemplifies the "blonde party girl", with a constant college age look and a reputation for getting drunk and getting laid. She can party with the best of them and always looks good even if she loses her voice every weekend. I call Ann Coulter the "double barrel" blonde. A smart, well connected, politically charged author and mouthpiece with long legs, a great body, and single. She will get your attention either with looks, brains or both barrels.

If you want to cover the expanse of all men with a libido then lets not leave out Jessica Simpson. She looks like she should have been on Baywatch before anyone else with that bikini body and her combo "California Girl" look with southern charm. She is still a dingbat. Another of my favorite up and coming bimbos is sweet little jailbait Hilary Duff. So goes her title "jailbait blonde", need I say more? Believe it or not both Jessica and Hillary have younger "jailbait blonde" sisters pumping out chart strugglers.

At the other end of the blonde bikini bimbo babe battalion is the master of sex and spy games, 007. James Bond had his share of women but the blondes stand out. From Ursula Andres to Kim Basinger to Denise Richards every generation of Bond has a blonde heroine. Kill the enemy, save the blonde, have sex with her -- all compelling stories that Ian Flemming no doubt wishes he had been living.

The Gold Adonis

The boys club includes less consistent celebrity selection that generally has longer staying power. In Hollywood, as in fairy tails, "tall dark and handsome" reign supreme. Tell that to Brad Pitt. Pitt is one of the most successful blonde actors of all time. His flowing locks swaying in the wind while riding horseback across the plain in Legends Of The Fall are nothing to the bleached out mane on his crown in epic Troy. Every girl of every age of every country wants Jennifer Aniston's throw away.

The original blonde boys club belongs to Butch Cassidy & the Sundance Kid. Before Paul Newman was making "His Own" salad dressing, he was making movies as a blonde blue eyed babe, eventually sharing the screen with soon to be blonde independent film giant Robert Redford. When it comes to blonde men with talent in film these two guys are sitting at the round table.

Everyday Blondes

Some blondes are brunettes in disguise. As stated earlier there are more blondes in California then anywhere else, and not all by birth, which is for certain. The left coast has its share of imports of every ethnic race, color or creed and just as many boxes of hair dye on the shelf. The everyday blondes are the ones tired of their real color and migrate to Blondonia, the land of blondolicious wealth and attention. The everyday blonde is also known as an "imposter" blonde. Every few weeks those unhappy roots start popping out of the scalp to make you wonder if the carpet matches the drapes.

You can always tell the imposter blondes, they have a different energy than a natural blonde. The imposter blonde craves attention where as the natural blonde knows it is coming and doesn't worry about it. The natural blonde has no need to scan the room for suitors; they will naturally gravitate to her. If you really want to get blondes attentions, hit on the girl sitting right next to her in a social setting that also has blonde hair. A blonde's only competition is herself.

Among the everyday impostor blondes you have a sub-category that no man can seem to resist; the MILF blonde. The MILF (Mom I'd Like to F***) -- in real life and in movies the hottest MILFs are blondes. They have had a couple of kids yet they are fit and dress young with a wicked head of gold or platinum locks, all the while making sure that everyone thinks they are sexy even if their husbands don't anymore. Revenge is sweetest when it is served steaming blonde.

Next is the sporty blonde; she plays volleyball, tennis, golf and even softball. She may be blonde, but she is less feminine than your other everyday blondes, including the "no bearing blonde". The "no bearing" blonde is a girl who has so little going for her, that being blonde does not even help. Guys won't even come up from behind to see what she looks like. The "no bearing blonde" is the only blonde not having more fun.

Just Add Color

Black men love white women, but nothing says trophy to the black man, like blonde hair. Other than professional athletes most black men like their white women blonde and big. They want to see the ultimate contrast physically and visually when getting busy. Even BBBWs (big blonde beautiful women) have a following and that can not be denied. Black men have the market cornered here because you rarely see a white guy with a fat black woman with or without blonde hair, that's just freaky.

For years wealthy men from states of the UAE (United Arab Emirates) have paid ungodly amounts of money to blonde American women to come to their Arab palaces to "entertain" men. The American blonde female is priceless to wealthy foreigners who visit our strip clubs and night clubs. It is as if the darker they are and the worse their English is, the more they want American blonde women. I live here, I can see why.

A Rare Find

Among the everyday blondes, impostor blondes and BBBWs, you rarely see the bleach blonde dike. Lesbians don't seem to go out of their way to be overly blonde, using darker and subtler tones to almost disappear in the crowd. I can count on one hand how many blonde lesbians I know, and three of them I had to pull from my "bi-sexual" batch. I checked out some dating sites for this piece and found that among the bi-sexual women that were presently "unattached" that had ads posted, more than 60f the three sites I chose were blondes. So if you're looking for a gay blonde, you have to wait until she fully crosses over from bi-sexual blonde and catch her before she dyes it to dike. The rare find group can also include the "geriatric blonde". She is the natural blonde that's over the hill and yet still seems to grow naturally blonde hair when her friends are silver and blue. You won't have to work up a sweat chasing that cougar.

Role Model

Celebrity blondes, everyday blondes and let us not forget blonde models or "model blondes". These are your playboy bunnies, beer poster girls, internet models and supermodels and otherwise "non-available for local consumption" women. Remember Christy Brinkley? She was a hugely paid blonde model for her time. Hugh Hefner's last wife was Kimberley Conrad, a smoking hot drop dead blonde. After the divorce, that was not enough for Hef, he then went public with his seven (7) blonde girlfriends. They all live in the Playboy Mansion and follow him as an entourage. Donald Trump left Ivana (international blonde) for Marla Maples (blonde bimbo of the moment). Marla's claim to fame was her blonde butt.

WHY?

So why do everyday blondes get our attention with the glow of a celebrity? Why is it when a man is driving, a simple pedestrian will cause him to practically crash his car? Is it boobs? Is it money? Is it pheromones? Simply put, the light burns brighter. When we are children we are compelled to explore anything shiny. Objects that gleam, shine or glow get our attention, and are more fun to play with, including fire.

Men specifically are visual in nature when it comes to the opposite sex. Our peripheral vision naturally picks up the brightest or most evident color in our visual spectrum. Men are Pavlovian as well, with keen senses to the presence of women. The male ear is trained to distinguish the sound of high heals against loafers. The nose is trained to pick up the slightest feminine scent. And the eyes -- the eyes are always scouting, surveying for a visual taste treat. This is when the bright blonde babes stand out in the crowd. Combine horny men with the most visible women possible and you get, "blondes have more fun".

Unlike brunettes, blondes have many categories; platinum blonde, bleach blonde, natural blonde, strawberry blonde, dirty blonde, light blonde, dark blonde, frosted blonde, blonde highlights, toehead and many more. When your hair is bright, the "hello" factor from strangers goes up. Brunettes on the other hand are often labeled: striking, mysterious, and exotic (especially the Latin females, but that's another article).

Blonde has a fresh and almost "clean" look that is welcoming. We naturally see blondes as "softer"; softer is more accessible to all of us, thus commanding our attention. Everybody wants to have more fun, but don't think for a minute the Latina women around you are not having as much fun as the redheads or the Asian girls. But still the blonde has the most fun of all, and she's the Olympic torch of attention because we covet the soft bright feminine all American female.

-- Jackson Morris, 2006


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