In The Words of Larry, The Big Kahuna

You are here for cosmetic purposes. You are here to represent research. The brains of the company. Even though you do not have very much experience you are representing the company. Still, that does not matter. You as a person do not really matter. It's what you represent. When you think about it. At work... you do not really see people. You see functions. That is the nature of work. If you look at it in the stand point of why we are working... "What" we are is more important than "who" we are. Yes that seems a little impersonal. But of course it's impersonal. Why do you think your office building looks the way it does. Is there anything about that place that smacks of personality.

So your boss. They are an idiot! That is a moron... I would not trust that person to wax my car. I have met them. I have gotten an earful of him. I can tell you for a fact that your boss is full of shit. Granted you work for them so maybe you don't see it. But maybe you just don't know what to look for. Or maybe you might have different standards.

There are people in this world who look very official while they are doing what they are doing. Do you know why? It is because they do not know what they are doing. Because if you know what you are doing, you do not have to look like you know what you are doing. It comes naturally. So now do you know how you can tell the difference? The way you tell is... A little voice pops up in the back of your mind thats says that this guy, or she, who is sitting before you is lying through their teeth or telling you stories. Now once you get that little piece of information what do you do... Here is what I would do. I would say, Buddy... I have heard a lot of horse shit in my time because god knows I am salesman and we all have to wade our way through our share of the snow to get to the cabin... but you take the cake. I don't believe that you have the first idea what you are talking about. Your children admire you, I'm sure. As we all hope they do. And maybe your wife doesn't know... but I know. And my knowledge forces me to call you on the fact that you are a god-damn cock-sucking lier from the word... Go! Then I would sit down and finish my soup.

And I have done this.

That is why there is hope. Because of people like me... who listen. So what happened? Well what do you think happened? What would you expect to happen? The guy got angry. They guy got furious. He just sat there through the rest of the meal just fuming not saying a word. Of course I lost the account. You can not speak to a man like that and expect to keep the account. And if you do. If you say that to a man and he puts down his fork and he says, You are absolutely right. I have been faking like I know what I am talking about from the moment I sat down and I am sorry. Not to you because I don't owe you anything. But to myself, because I want to be the best human being I can possibly be. And I want to be honest above all else. Well then you forget about the account. You forget about everything. You shave your head. Put on a saffron robe and sell pictures of this guy at the airport because he has no fear and he has just proofed it. This guy deserves to be worshiped. Do yourself a favor... Do not ever become one of those people. I do not want to confront you at lunch one day like I did that other guy. But I will. For your own good and because I like you.


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