Homer vs. Homer

One of them was a great epic poet of Greek antiquity whose two major works laid the foundation for all literature in western civilization. The other is a suburban Springfielder and safety inspector whose wry, ironic and sometimes outlandish commentaries on all things contemporary have entertained millions.

*HOMER* Homer is credited with writing (or compiling) the two great epic poems of ancient Greece, the "Iliad" and "The Odyssey." It is generally accepted that Homer composed them between the ninth and eighth centuries B.C.

*HOMER JAY SIMPSON* Homer Jay Simpson, a resident of Evergreen Terrace, a section of Springfield, is a safety inspector at the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant. Likes: Donuts and beer. Dislikes: His boss, Mr. Burns, and his neighbor, Ned Flanders. Married to Marge. Three children: Bart, Lisa, Maggie.

HOMER: "To labor is the lot of man."
H. S.: "I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes."

HOMER: "His speech flowed from his tongue sweeter than honey."
H. S.: "Good drink, good meat, good God, let's eat!"

HOMER: "Toil is the lot of all."
H. S.: "If something goes wrong at the plant, blame the guy who can't speak English."

HOMER: "Keep aloof from sharp contentions."
H. S.: "I like my beer cold, my TV loud, and my homosexuals flaming."

HOMER: "There is no greater glory for any man alive than that which he wins by his hands and his feet."
H. S.: "Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose: it's how drunk you get."

HOMER: "The difficulty is not to die for a friend, as to find a friend worth dying for."
H. S.: "Operator! Give me the number for 911!"

HOMER: "There is nothing nobler or more admirable than when two people who see eye to eye keep house as man and wife."
H. S.: "A woman is like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you'd step over your own mother just to get one!"

HOMER: "To be both a speaker of words and a doer of deeds."
H. S.: "What is mind? No matter. What is matter? Never mind!"

HOMER: "Always be first and surpass everyone else."
H. S.: "Trying is the first step towards failure."

HOMER: "Those who live by their strength are doomed to perish by it."
H. S.: "I can't believe it! Reading and writing actually paid off!"

HOMER: "We are quick to flare up, we races of men on the earth."
H. S.: "D'oh!!!"


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