Form the Blazing Sword!!!

Everyone knows that the there will be a Transformers movie that is going to be released in 2007. What I am hoping to be the first to report in my little group of friends is that there has been announced a new Voltron: Defender of the Universe movie. Apparently two guys at New Line bought the right Voltron and then brought the project to Mark Gordon. This guy did do Speed so it should be a good film... It just will not have a good cast. He also did The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. Which I was not to crazy about... Bring on the flame war... Fish once said that I expect every film to be great that's why I do not like so many films... Cut come on look at LXG it was lame... The only character who had any depth was Dorian Gray and he had the smallest part of all the main characters. Stuart Townsend is a good actor... He would have been a lousy Aragorn but still. The truth of the matter is that I do not expect every movie to be great but I do expect them to be interesting... Come on $10.00 for a damn movie ticket. Let me tell you... If I spend ten dollars on a movie... That is no longer two hours of entertainment... that is an investment into the Hollywood industry.

Back to Voltron... It appears that Voltron is a very lucrative commodity to have the movie rights to... It has generated $750 million in worldwide licensing and nearly $200 million in toys and merchandising since 1984. For the record... the Lions were the best Voltron. Followed by the space ships with the vehicles as a very distant third... after all it took 15 people to make vehicle Voltron. One person would get a hangnail and the world was in jeopardy because they could not assemble to make the robot.

So here it goes... two giant robot pictures from the 1980's. Now that we have Transformers and Voltron all we need is the Thundercats. [Note: They are going to release the Tundercats on DVD soon.] [On totally unrelated news... My birthday is coming up.] If they do make a Thundercats movie, it could either complete the holy Trinity of my child hood. Or it could be the trifecta from hell. Why is are all of my childhood dreams being destroyed... Why not make a He-Man movie next... They can have Calista Flockhart play Skeletor. For those of you who do know know how this movie will work.. It will be something like this
1. I'll form the head!
2. Form blazing sword!
3. ???
4. Profit!

They could make this more permanent. Such as "Voltron Office Of Home Land Security.

Bastards... While you're at it, go back in time and kick my dog, slash my bike tires, and burn down my fort. I swear this movie ticket better come with 20 hours of free therapy. Anyone who watched the show knows that it was basically the same thing every week... and that was to kill the beast thing with sword. And there were so many recycled action sequences it was not even funny. This movie is going to suck but you know what... I am going to watch it anyway... And you know what... I will probably like it... Damn you inner child. And for anyone who knows me knows that when I say Inner child I mean the whole Von Trapp family.

I have provided a good picture in the music link to show how Transformers are NOT as cool as Voltron... Let the flame war begin... Also the following link provides one of the funnies Voltron movies I have ever seen... It takes a while to download but I swear it is totally worth it... [note there might be an error message when it tries to play in media player... Just hit YES.]

p.s. I am going to slap the first small child, with a hockey stick, that gets it wrong and says that Voltron is a just like Power Rangers.


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Straight Circle

I break plans...

To make plans...

To break plans...

To see if I can be alone...


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No S*x Tonight...

So a friend of mine sent this to me and instead of fowarding the joke over email to everyone I might as well just use up space here... But it made me realize how many women call me when they want to shop for something...


NO S*X TONIGHT!

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.

Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."

I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear... "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She could not decide which one to take so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she does not even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That is fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled "WHAT?"

I then said "honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and
not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having s*x tonight either.

I can now understand why some people think shopping is better then sex... After all if you're not satisfied after shopping you can just exchange it. Here is my shout out to all who made this post possible and relevant...


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Holden Inspired

Just yesterday I went into JCP to talk to my friend and stuff. I was showing her something on this site and she complained about the name... For those of you who have not managed to stare up into the Title Bar of your browser you will see the phrase... "David Copperfield kind of crap." Yes, the big blue stripe at the top of the program that you are currently using actually has a name and is not called... "Big Blue Stripe At The Top of The Program that You Are Currently Using."

Well anyway my friend from Penneys complains that she does not like the title. I have had this complaint before. I had a golden Retriever trying to lick my face at the time so I could not concentrate on the complaint... What can I say I like golden retrievers... or maybe I just like blondes...

Any how... For those of you who would like to know the Copperfield phrase comes from JD Salinger's "Catcher In The Rye." its actually on the first page and it reads like this...

If you really want to hear about it, the first thing you'll probably want to know is where I was born and what my lousy childhood was like, and how my parents were occupied and all before they had me, and all that David Copperfield kind of crap, but I don't feel like going into it, if you want to know the truth.

Post number two down... 12 more to go... Hey I have to make up for the two weeks that I was gone...


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3.14159265358979323846-ro

So a couple of weeks ago The Fish and I are emailing each other. We have a weird way of starting our conversations each morning. We can not seem to be able to say hello like most normal people. We seem to try a new way of saying hello every morning. What can I say... We are bored... On this particular morning I say something along the lines of... "What's the magic word."

He replies with a word... I forget what it was at the moment... I could have been "tater salad" its not important. [For those of you who get the tater salad reference 10 points a piece.] I reply with a good to know comment. He then asks me if I know what one is supposed to do when they hear the magic word. Just being an angry bastard I state... "I don't know... Set a random Toyota Matrix on fire." Yeah I said that... I was so mad.

Well we laughed about that for a while and then we dropped the subject. Well a couple of nights later I am sitting in bed reading the news on the Internet like I do every night when I find an article titled as such. "Toyota worker arrested for torching cars." This makes me mad this guy is totally bogarding my idea. The article read as such... "TOYOTA, Aichi -- An employee of Toyota Motor Co. who claims to have set fire to several cars has been arrested, police said. Junji Kubo, 26, the Toyota employee, was arrested for willful destruction of property. He admits to the allegations. Toyota alone has seen 34 reported car torchings since the start of April and the Toyota employee is the prime suspect. It is not known whether his profession had anything to do with the vehicles targeted."

For those who do not know Aichi is a a prefecture of Japan. I know there are some out there who know all about the orient but for those who do not... Japan is divided into 47 sub-national jurisdictions known as prefectures. The land is then sub-divided into counties and cities and so forth. You could say that a prefecture is akin to a state in America. This political structuring system was established by the Meiji government in 1871, and is known as the abolition of the han system. These jurisdictions were meant replace the former provinces. There were initially over 300 prefectures, but in 1888 it was reduced down to 47. In 1947 The Local Autonomy Law gave more political power to prefectures, and provided for locally-elected governors.

Oh well... my dreams of having a good time were shattered. There you go people... A little fantasizing about arson mixed with some Political Science on the topic of Comparative Government seems to make a perfect post. All right I'm out...


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Things My Mother Taught Me [Egopidea.com]

...about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."

...about APPRECIATING A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

...about ASTROLOGY.
"You can thank your lucky stars that did not poke someone's eye out."

...about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

...about BIOLOGY
"If you keep on doing that, you will go blind!"

...about CAREER PLANNING.
"How on earth are you going to amount any thing if..."

...about THE CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

...about DIETING.
"You are going to bed without your supper!"

...about DISAPPOINTMENT.
"No honey, when the ice cream truck is playing music, that means they're all out of ice cream."

...about ENVY.
"There are millions of children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

...about ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you'll be cold?"

...about FEAR:
"One day you'll have a child who'll do the same things to you".

...about FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

...about GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

...about BECOMING AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

...about GIVING.
"Turn down your radio! Your music is giving me a headache."

...about GRATITUDE.
"Just be thankful your father is not here right now."

...about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I have told you a million times. Do not exaggerate!"

...about HUMOR.
"When that lawnmower cuts off your toes, do not come running to me."

...about IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I will give you something to cry about."

...about THE LAW OF UNINTENDED CONSEQUENCES.
"If you do not eat your dinner some poor child in Africa will starve."

...about THE LAW OF THERMODYNAMICS.
"Money just burns a hole in your pocket!"

...about LIFE.
"You are going to be the death of me yet!"

...about LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."

...about MAKING CHOICES.
"You will do as I say, or else!!!"

...about MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you do not stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."

...about PATIENCE.
"Just wait until your father gets home!"

...about PRAYER.
"You can thank God I am too busy to deal with you right now."

...about RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

...about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

...about RESEARCH.
"Whoever said life was fair?"

...about ROLE MODELS.
"Why are you not more like your brother?"

...about SELF ESTEEM.
"Just look at you!!!"

...about SHARING.
"I am going to give you a piece of my mind!"

...about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until you clean your plate."

...about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you do not straighten up, I am going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

...about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks like a tornado went through it."

...about WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you will understand."


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Stained -- It's Been A While [Zro-Mix]

And it's been awhile
Since I could hold my head up high
And it's been awhile
Since I first saw you
And it's been awhile
Since I could stand on my own two feet again
And it's been awhile
Since I could call you
And it's been awhile
Since I've gone and fucked things up just like I always do
And it's been awhile
But all that shit seems to disappear when I'm with you
And it's been awhile
Since I've seen the way the candles light your face
And it's been awhile
But I can still remember just the way you taste


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Smoking...

Someone once asked me why do I smoke... Do I want to kill myself or something...

My truthful answer... Yes... I am just too much of a pussy to do it all at once...


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Batman, Where Are You?

Well I have been meaning to write about this since we saw the movie in IMAX but I have been so busy with work and also dealing with other postings. I promise to write soon. Well anyway... The other day I went out to see Batman Begins. As usually happens with me when I hang out with my friend we ended up walking around the mall for hours... seriously it was hours. This time we finished watching the movie and while we were walking around we began to wonder where Gotham City was.

Well I called Qubeley because I knew that she would know... The whole time I was betting that Gotham is in Maryland somewhere. I could have sworn that a couple of years ago I saw a map that had all the fictional cities from the DC Universe on it. There I saw that Metropolis was near New York City and that Gotham was somewhere near Washington D.C.. Well when I got a hold of Qubeley she told me that she thought Gotham was near New York... Oh well I guess I could have been misinformed. Still, where did this map come from.

So I did some research on Gotham City and this is what I found...

Gotham City was finally named in Detective Comics #48 (February 1941); before then, Batman's adventures happened in either New York City or an unnamed city. Gotham is known to be architecturally modeled after Chicago, Illinois or Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. Frank Miller said that metaphorically, Metropolis (home to Superman) is "New York during the day," and Gotham is "New York at night." Someone else said that Metropolis is New York above 14th St., and that Gotham City is New York below 14th St.

Gotham is a traditional nickname for New York City, but there is a separate NYC in the DC universe. It is definitely a port city, probably on the east coast; too much plot has depended on that fact. Again, various sources have placed Gotham City all along the east coast, often near Metropolis. The distance to Metropolis has also varied; from hundreds of miles to linked by a bridge.

Also, in Adventures of Superman #425, Clark and Lois board a train traveling from Atlanta to Metropolis. Cities mentioned as in-between stops are Charlotte, Washington D.C., Philadelphia, and Gotham City, in that order. This would seem to imply that both Gotham and Metropolis are in New Jersey as the train is heading in a northern direction and New York City is not mentioned.

Anther interesting thing to note is that Mayfair Games published an Atlas of the DC Universe, written by DC staffer Paul Kupperberg. While not completely official, it does jibe with locations that DC used when its house fanzine of the mid-70s discussed this same question. The locations given for the main DC fictional cities are:
-- Metropolis: Delaware
-- Gotham City: New Jersey

So with a little bit of more searching I found a map of the Eastern coast of the DC Universe. as published by Mayfair Games. Finally I have found my map.

Well so that is all I could find about Gotham. Except for the fact that the other day I was in the New York Historical Society building (More on that later.) and there I found this book. So in conclusion, I would say that Gotham is just about anywhere those crazy people at DC want to put it and that we really should not spend to much time thinking about it since it is a fake city...


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I Am From Where???

So I know these three girls who are the best of friends... for names sake we will call the Pinky, Brain and Larry. On the day that I met Pinky and Larry we were just sitting around having fun and then we got into the topic of origin. Pinky... and I chose for ger to be Pinky for a very specific reason and it is as follows... Pinky was very excited and said something along the lines of, "Oh I know where you are from... Wait do not tell me... I know it starts with a 'P.'" She stopped for a moment and then thought deep and hard about this. Then she blurted out... "Singapore" as if it was some great epiphany. That's what we had. She is trying to think of a country name that starts with a P and in a great eureka moment she comes up with Singapore.

After laughing my ass off she realized that Singapore does not start with a P as she had assumed. It's not as if the "Singa" is silent. She was amused with herself and much as I was amused.

Fast forward...

We have been joking about this for the longest time... So when an invitation for a party came it read "One Singaporean." The party was being held in one of the whitest areas of the county. Seriously if you are in this area you have to be playing "Alan Jackson" or "Garth Brooks" because that is all that is heard in this area. With my dark skin, I am only allowed in that neighborhood with someone to vouch for me or with a lawn mower. I had someone to vouch for me. Plus the invitation was like a passport into the town. When I got there, there was loud music coming from the back yard. And it was not from the good folks of "Brooks & Dunn." No it was some loud salsa music that you usually hear coming out of some Honda Civic. When I go out of the car I decided right then and there that for the rest of the day I was from Singapore. There was no way that I was going to own up to this sort of thing. If anyone from the party asked me where I was from, I was going to say Singapore with out even thinking about it.

The best part was that during the party, the girl who I will call Larry started talking about where I was from. She was just joking around. But in the end she was talking about Singapore and she was talking about where Singapore was and then in all seriousness says that Singapore is in Europe... For those who are not in the know... You should be made aware that Singapore is in south east asia.

So I sat at the party struggling to pretend that I was Singaporean and that I did not know salsa music. I was really afraid someone was going to ask me where I was from. Thankfully no one asked...


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What's Wrong With Women of the World

So the other day I went to my friend's graduation. Let me tell you... it was so hot. I was sweating like crazy. There was this point in the ceremony when one of the students got to speak. He had to talk the whole time in metaphor. I think people that speak in metaphor should be shot through the groin.

Well anyway finally I picked up my friend and we were walking back to my car. Since there were close to 37.5 billion people at the school I had to park two blocks away. I was actually surprised how many hispanics were there. I always figured that when a hispanic goes to school they are there for life.

Any way... As we are walking down the street this girl drives up, driving in the same direction, on the other side of the side of the street. She is wearing glasses and she leans a little bit out the window and yells out my friend's name. Then she says, "She's sooo hot!"

This always makes me laugh because I know how uncomfortable it makes her. The other day we went to Johny Rockets and the waitress was hitting on her. She hates it but I ca not help but think it's the funniest thing on the planet. I about lost it when the waitress winked at her and offered her a little something-something.

So am walking and I am laughing and thinking this is awesome.

Then it hits me...

I ask, "She did say, 'SHE'S so hot!' Right."

But she did not...

The driver had to stop because of the traffic and we caught up to her... Then, she leaned out the window a little bit again and then she said it. I heard it clearly this time... She thought I was hot... I was floored. I did not know know to do. I was thinking of something intelligent to say but I could not. I just stood there with my mouth open.

I am thinking she had cataracts she should not be driving.

But it does not stop there.

About six weeks ago I went to my friends house. She had asked me to come over to install some new drapes. She bought them at JCP and realized that she could not have the janitor install them. I had never installed drapes before but I figured I could do it. I have installed Network Interface Cards while boozed up, I figured that I could do this no problem.

It just so happened that on this day it was boiling hot. It had to be close to a billion degrees and since I have yet to get my new car I do not have air conditioning... All I could do was drive with my windows open... The faster I drive the more air I got so I drove really fast. Not that I would not drive that fast anyway but this time I had a pretty good reason... So I pull into her apartment complex and slowly peel myself off my seat. For those of you who can not picture how hot this is try imagining that moment when you are trying to remove that soggy boot of your foot but it will not come off. All that happens is it creates some weird sucking sound. Yeah it was like that.

So I grabbed the drill that I had brought with me. I knew that I would have a little manual labor to do. She said I should bring it so I could drill. She is really into the double entendre. I threw the drill into my book-bag and started walking towards her apartment. Literally, seconds after I got out of my car I was all sweaty. I was wearing my burgundy shirt that day. Try to imagine this really nice satin shirt but instead of it being nice and flowing it is sticking to my skin like a piece of Saran Wrap. To add to my problems I did not bring a change of clothes. So as I am walking I have to go up this walkway. Now I am really sweating buckets. So I just decide that will unbutton my shirt on my way to her apartment. I had already un-tucked my shirt so so I just started unbuttoning it from the top.

So let me redraw this mental picture for those who are having a hard time imagining it. I am walking down this sidewalk along the side of the building. I figure that there would be no one was going to see me. They were all inside their apartments staying cool with the air conditioners. I was so happy that I had unbuttoned every button in my burgundy shirt. It was just flapping in the air.

Then... Just as I was reaching for the doorknob, my friends neighbor comes out of her apartment. She notices me walking around with my shirt all open. Well this broad smile just spreads itself across her face. All I can do is cover myself back up. You know when Elmer Fudd is chasing Bugs Bunny and then Bugs runs into the bathroom and hides for a second. Then when Elmer opens the door, Bugs pretends to be a girl and then quickly covers himself up and screams. Yeah that was me at that very moment.

Well thats it... If there is anyone else out there who happens to have these kind of ideas... Please... I urge you to go to the optometrist before anything goes wrong....


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