Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Ten Reasons Gay Marriage is Un-American

I saw this posted on a BBS -- there was no attribution.

01. Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.
02. Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.
03. Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.
04. Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.
05. Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Britany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.
06. Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.
07. Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.
08. Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.
09. Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.
10. Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.

Monday, October 22, 2007

More than what you hoped? Probably the end...

The smell of the bakery from across the street got in his nose. He could feel the shape of the stones of the street on his feet. Each stone placed where it was deliberately in an effort to make a street. He just kept on walking down the street. He was smelling, hearing, seeing, feeling, and even tasting everything in his environment. He just walked down the street with his purpose in mind. He knew what it was and he knew that he must do it. He must change time.

As he slowly began to walk down the hill, he saw his three targets. They were two little boys and one little girl. It was the little girl that most interested him. The little girl brought him here. The little girl had brought him back to this place.

He kept walking down the hill. His long coat was swaying in the wind. It always seemed the windiest on this street, he thought. It always seemed that the high pressure of air from the river seed to flow up the hill that he was walking down. His coat just flapped. His coat just blew behind him like some kind of cape and he walked like some kind of superman. He continued down the hill. His three targets just bouncing up and down with each step. He just kept looking at the little girl. He saw her smile. She smiled a smile that he knew so well. She smiled a smile that brought him happiness. The scar on her upper lip had already started to form. He smiled knowing how she had given herself that scar. It was something that he would always use to identify her. Probably something he liked the best about her.

However, he knew what he must do to her. He knew what he must do for her. As he walked, he reached in and touched the gun that was holstered beneath his left arm. He could feel the smoothness of the metal and the roughness of the plastic that made up its handle. As he touched the gun, as he thought of his plan, he kept eying the little girl. He wondered if she knew who he was, if she knew who she was suppose to become, would she ever forgive him.

The three children sat on the sidewalk playing. The man could not tell what they were playing from where he was coming from. Nor did he care. His one goal was to finish his mission and as he looked at the brown hair of the little girl he knew what that mission was. He knew that no matter how he felt about it he knew that her life WAS his mission. Closer and closer, he came to the children. As he walked in the shadows of the tall buildings, he wondered if he could really do it. He continued walking until he passed them. Yes, he just walked passed the three children and on his second step, he turned around.

A few seconds later, he looked down at them to see what they were doing. At the same time, they looked up at him to see who was blocking their light. They wanted to see who could be disrupting their game. There in the shadow of the man, in the shadow of the sun they saw him reach into the left side of his coat. They were not sure what they were seeing, as he pulled out the gun. They just noticed that it shone in the light of the sun. He could see the puzzled look in the little girls brown eyes. He could see her two eyes separated by the barrel of his gun. That was his line of sight. That was his focus of vision.

Then in one swift move brown-eyed girl was horrified as she saw him pull the trigger.

Moreover, the man walked on into the sunlight as thunder rolled in the cloudless sky.

Sunday, October 21, 2007

A repeate of nature...

A scorpion was wandering along the bank of the river, wondering how to get to the other side. Suddenly he saw a fox. He asked the fox to take him across the river.

The fox said, "No. If I do that, you'll sting me and I'll drown."

The scorpion assured him, "If I did that, we'd both drown."

The fox thought about it and finally agreed. So the scorpion climbed up on his back and the fox began to swim. But halfway across the river, the scorpion stung him.

As the poison filled his veins, the fox turned to the scorpion and said, "Why did you do that? Now you'll drown too."

"I couldn't help it," said the scorpion. "It's my nature."


Extra Reading

Friday, October 12, 2007

The all seeing eye...

Sunday, October 7, 2007

Boatload of Cracked...

Well here is another boatload of stuff post.   Lately at work a friend and I have been talking about this site... Well I had some of these links so I figured that I would share... Oh one more thing... By the way if you click on the blue lines it will take you to the article... It's the internet on your computer...

8 Important Lessons Learned from '80's Cartoons
We'd like to point out that we're aware of the fact that some of the cartoons listed below did not originate in the '80s. However, they were on during the '80s, that's when we watched them, so they're '80s cartoons to us. It's like when we refer to bedwetting as "late '90s behavior." Without further ado...

10 Best Animated Movies for Traumatizing Kids
Life is a relentless parade of horrors. Adults try to shield the kiddies from that fact, but every year animated film studios work hard to make sure the real world comes crashing in on little Timmy years ahead of schedule.

5 Questions Season Two of Heroes Had Better F@king Answer
Unlike a certain show about people stranded on a mysterious island that won't be named, by the end of its first season Heroes had managed to neatly wrap up the vast majority of its plot threads and running storylines. The cheerleader was saved; the sword was retrieved; and the exploding man was stopped. Here, we'll re-examine some of the loose threads and questions left over from the first season of Heroes. Hopefully this will help people get back up to speed. Also, this will give us a good excuse to post several pictures of Ali Larter in her panties.

10 Most Memorable Movie Cameos by Non-Actors
Sometimes the most memorable movie cameos come from the most unlikely sources: the game show hosts, the rock musicians, the famous authors. These are people, in other words, whom you wouldn't expect to be sharing screen space with your Martin Lawrences, your Adam Sandlers, your Skeet Ulriches. Nonetheless, against all common reason, there they are. Here are the 10 that made us say "The hell...?" followed by "Hold on, this is awesome."

10 Weakest Songs by Badass Bands
Like athletes, comedians and dungeon-porn actors, time takes its toll on badass musicians. And inevitably, you'll catch your favorite crew of leather-clad/whiskey-swilling/vagina-liking sons of bitches cranking out a song that's suitable for the closing montage of a Grey's Anatomy episode. Here are the 10 most disappointing examples of badass bands playing nice—and subsequently looking like douchebags.

6 Movie Formulas That Must Be Stopped
Dear Hollywood, Hi, it's us! The people who spend money on your movies. Please stop making the same ones over and over again. We've seen the same recycled formulas year after year after year—and frankly, we're tired of it. We'll admit, you've delivered a few gems recently. Transformers, for example, stumbled upon a refreshing formula: Namely, Giant Robots Fighting Each Other + Megan Fox Standing Around Looking Awesome: AWESOME...

6 Most Over-Hyped Threats to America
Whether it's the threat of a terrorist attack, a shady foreign dictator, or men putting their genitals into other men, the powers that be want to keep you afraid of things you simply shouldn't be afraid of. Here are the six most unwarranted sources of fear the Man uses to keep you dumb... and Himself in power.

Five Great Comedians Who've lost It
Nuff said...


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Monday, October 1, 2007

Use this like MacGyver

Did you ever notice that MacGyver could do just about anything with just about anything.  There was this one episode when some lady said, "What are you going to do next? Make a weapon out of gum?"  To which MacGyber said, "Why do you have some?"  Well, here are some items that you can use to fix or do just about anything...

Baking Soda

Common Items

Dental Floss

Hydrogen Peroxide

Peper

Soap

Table Salt

Toothpaste

Oh by the why MacGyers first name is Angus... It's no wonder why he liked being called by his last name...


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