The Wackiest Technology Tales of 2008

"Despite the daily drum beat of new and improved hardware or software, the tech industry isn't all bits and bytes. Some interesting things happen along the way too. Like floating data centers, space geekonauts, shape shifting robots and weird bedfellows (like Microsoft and Jerry Seinfeld). What we include here is an example of what we thought were the best, slightly off-center stories of 2008."

Penguin Proposition 8

Gay penguins expelled from zoo colony for stealing eggs are given their own to look after following animal rights protest...

The best part is that they are probably the best parents of them all...

La vie en rose - Louis Armstrong

We can rebuild him...

It's Mario!!!

ǝʇısqǝʍ sıɥʇ ʇnoqɐ sɹɐǝɥ ɹǝʌo pɐǝɥ ɯɐ ı

flip...

Jokes...

An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second orders half a beer. The third, a quarter of a beer. The bartender says "You're all idiots", and pours two beers....

explanation

Tidge? Or Brunnel?

Google Maps...

From Wikipedia:
Properly spelled with diacritics, the Øresund or Öresund Bridge is a combined two-track rail and four-lane road bridge across the Öresund strait. The bridge-tunnel is the longest combined road and rail bridge in Europe and connects the two metropolitan areas of the Öresund Region: the Danish capital of Copenhagen and the Swedish city of Malmö. The international European route E20 runs across the bridge and through the tunnel via the two lane motorway, as does the Öresund Railway Line. The bridge is the longest border crossing bridge in the world,[4] but due to the Schengen Agreement, there are no passport or customs controls.

Atheism Song -- the Hannukah Song, but for nonbelievers

A cool parody of Adam Sandler's Hannukah Song, reworked for lonely atheists in the holiday season:


So when you feel like the only kid in town, without a God-like idol,
Here’s a list of famous atheists, so you don’t feel sui-cidal:
Ben Franklin and Thomas Edison, the Fathers of Invention,
Also Sigmund Freud, who discovered anal retention

The Piano Man, Billy Joel, refused to join a sect
Now we know why Rodney Dangerfield, never got any respect

Angelina Jolie, astronomer Carl Sagan
Put them together– not a bad-looking pagan [Sagan was really agnostic]

You don’t need a bar- mitzvah, or even baptizm
Cause you can get blessed — by Richard Dawkins or Christopher Hitchens

Ninja Cat...

Banned from WalMart

This is why women should not take men shopping against their will.

Unfortunately, Mr. Fenton was like most men--he found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunately, Mrs. Fenton was like most women--she loved to browse. One day Mrs. Fenton received the following letter from her local Wal-Mart.

Dear Mrs. Fenton,
Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and may be forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr. Fenton are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.

01. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.

02 . July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in House wares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

03. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.

04. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in House wares. Get on it right away.'

05. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.

06. September 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

07. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department.

08. September 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

09. Oc tob er 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the ' Mission Impossible' theme.

12. December 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels.

13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'

14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'

And last, but not least

15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!'

Regards,
Walmart

World famous landmarks replaced

Kill it With Fire!!!

Flash Game Week: Portal

Portal: The Flash Version includes over 40 challenging, portals thinking levels, and everything's included, in 2d - energy balls, cubes, turrets and even the famous crusher. The game also includes a console to mess around with after finishing the game, or just being frustrated by thinking with portals!

Flash Game Week: Vector Tower Defense

Vector Tower Defense is a strategy computer game. The goal is to try to stop enemies from crossing the map by building towers which shoot at them as they pass. each time you wipe out the enemies more enemies come but stronger. Use the money you earn to upgrade and buy more tires. Oh two words of advise... "Interest Income."

Flash Game Week: Winterbells

Winterbells is a simple game where you have to make the bunny hop from bell to bell. Higher and higher. Score double the points for jumping on a bird... make that little bunny reach outer space...

Flash Game Week: N

N probably stands for ninja in this addictive game. To be honest this is probably the most complicated game on this weeks list... and it drives me crazy that I can not get past level three. I can not sum up the controls on this game here but just use the in game help menu and you will be all set...

Flash Game Week: Grow Cube

Grow Cube is a fun game where you click panels in a selected order. Items you click will grow and grow with each turn. You will complete the game when all panels reach their max level. They effect each other as they grow. So you have to think about the clicking order.

Flash Game Week: Frogger

Frogger is a famous game on multiple platforms. This Flash Game is exactly like all frogger games. Take the frog safely to his home while weaving through traffic and traveling across the dangerous river with alligators and disappearing turtles. Use the arrow keys maneuver your frog across the board.

Flash Game Week: Bejeweled

Bejeweled is probably the most famous of all Flash Games. All you have to do is swap adjacent gems to align sets of three or more... Combos and cascades award extra points. Good luck...

Will It Blend? Week --- Modern Marvels

Will It Blend? Week --- Coke Can Smoothie...

Will It Blend? Week --- Rubik's Cube

Will It Blend? Week --- Chuck Norris

Will It Blend? Week --- Bic Lighters

Will It Blend? Week --- Light Sticks

Will It Blend? Week --- iPhone

Infinity bookcase

Bruce Lee plays ping pong with nunchuck

Tits and Fire...

Bono is Evil...

Bono, lead singer of the rock band U2, is famous throughout the entertainment industry for being more than just a little self-righteous. At a recent U2 concert in Dublin, Ireland he asked the audience for total quiet.

Then, in the silence, he started to slowly clap his hands, once every few seconds. Holding the audience in total silence, he said into the microphone,

'Every time I clap my hands, a child in Africa dies.'

A voice with a broad Irish accent from the front of the crowd pierced the quiet...

'Well, foockin stop doin it then, ya evil bastard !'

Life in the 1500's

The next time you are washing your hands and complain because the water temperature isn't just how you like it, think about how things used to be. Here are some facts about the 1500s:

Most people got married in June because they took their yearly bath in May, and still smelled pretty good by June. However, they were starting to smell, so brides carried a bouquet of flowers to hide the body odor. Hence the custom today of carrying a bouquet when getting married.

Baths consisted of a big tub filled with hot water. The man of the house had the privilege of the nice clean water, the n all the other sons and men, then the women and finally the children. Last of all the babies. By then the water was so dirty you could actually lose someone in it. Hence the saying, Don't throw the baby out with the Bath water..

Houses had thatched roofs-thick straw-piled high, with no wood underneath. It was the only place for animals to get warm, so all the cats and other small animals (mice, bugs) lived in the roof. When it rained it became slippery and sometimes the animals would slip and fall off the roof. Hence the saying It's raining cats and dogs.

There was nothing to stop things from falling into the house. This posed a real problem in the bedroom where bugs and other droppings could mess up your nice clean bed. Hence, a bed with big posts and a sheet hung over the top afforded some protection. That's how canopy beds came into existence.

The floor was dirt. Only the wealthy had some thing other than dirt. Hence the saying, Dirt poor. The wealthy had slate floors that would get slippery in the winter when wet, so they spread thresh (straw) on floor to help keep their footing. As the winter wore on, they added more thresh until, when you opened the door, it would all start slipping outside. A piece of wood was placed in the entranceway. Hence the saying a thresh hold.

In those old days, they cooked in the kitchen with a big kettle that always hung over the fire. Every day they lit the fire and added things to the pot. They ate mostly vegetables and did not get much meat. They would eat the stew for dinner, leaving leftovers in the pot to get cold overnight and then start over the next day. Sometimes stew had food in it that had been there for quite a while. Hence the rhyme, Peas porridge hot, peas porridge cold, peas porridge in the pot nine days old..

Sometimes they could obtain pork, which made th em feel quite special. When visitors came over, they would hang up their bacon to show off. It was a sign of wealth that a man could, bring home the bacon. They would cut off a little to share with guests and would all sit around and chew the fat..

Those with money had plates made of pewter. Food with high acid content caused some of the lead to leach onto the food, causing lead poisoning death. This happened most often with tomatoes, so for the next 400 years or so, tomatoes were considered poisonous.

Bread was divided according to status. Workers got the burnt bottom of the loaf, the family got the middle, and guests got the top, or the upper crust.

Lead cups were used to drink ale or whisky. The combination would sometimes knock a person out for a couple of days. Someone walking along the road would take them for dead and prepare them for burial. They were laid out on the kitchen table for a couple of days and the family would gather around and eat and drink and wait and see if they would wake up. Hence the custom of holding a wake.

England is old and small and the local folks started running out of places to bury people. So they would dig up coffins and would take the bones to a bone-house, and reuse the grave. When reopening these coffins, 1 out of 25 coffins were found to have scratch marks on the inside and they realized they had been burying people alive. So they would tie a string on the wrist of the corpse, lead it through the coffin and up through the ground and tie it to a bell. Someone would have to sit out in the graveyard all night (the graveyard shift.) to listen for the bell; thus, someone could be, saved by the bell or was considered a ...dead ringer..