Thursday, April 14, 2005

Who Am I?

Ok so we all know about the war in the Middle East and for the longest time I have hated this war... I have always been against it and I have told everyone that would listen... Here at the bank there is this one person who has always been talking about how it was a good thing we went to was and that we should be there finding the terrorist and the weapons of mass destruction... I really did not want to mention that they are now "Weapons of Mass Destruction Related Activities." According to the Bush Administration... We went through this whole thing during the elections about how Bush is the right person for the job and so on and so on.

But today she found out that someone that used to work at the bank died over there. Now I feel bad when ever one person dies... but now she was talking about how the war is wrong and she called it the new Vietnam. Funny this person just a few months ago was singing a totally different tune. Well I ask her about her about her opinion before the death of this person... boy does she get snippy. She says that I am not quoting her right and so on... Well, as like always when I paraphrase, I really don't care... I am just annoyed that now her opinion is totally different... what does that say about the people who support this war. I read an article that over 1400 people have died, not since the start of this war, but since our president landed on a flight carrier claiming all major conflicts had ended there...

What does this say about me? I do not want to turn this into an "I told you so" situation but have the courage to stand up to what you believe in... don’t change your mind have way through... at least don't point out the fact that our last presidential candidate did that and he was unfit to run our country because of it...

Someone once told me that if "You are under 25 and a conservative then you are heartless but if you are over 40 and a Liberal then you are foolish." Will I change my mind one day? WHAT DOES THAT SAY ABOUT ME?

On the same none a wise woman told me this today: People are human and being human we are flawed. It we were perfect, life would be shorter and less interesting. I feel bad because when you know the person directly, it hurts more. In history books the best way to get out of recession (depression) was to go to war because then all your resources are being used. It unifies in a way. People change their opinion based on new information. If you couldn’t change your opinion, more people would be walking around with some very stupid hairdos.

On the same note a wise man told me this: Remember that half the population has below average intelligence.


Extra Reading

Tuesday, March 29, 2005

A Piture Recap Of The Last Few Life Times

Ok so it's time to play catch up on the Zro dial... This is for those who still read...

Working hard but i can't seem to avoid the evils of American Consumerism.
Pic01

Right now, I think, I might be getting sick. THAT SUCKS ASS!!!
Pic02

So some of you have been wondering about what I did while in California.
Pic03

Everything was just so weird there. I actually took this picture...
Pic04

I actually wanted to stay there but in the end I decided that I should just come back.
Pic05

Spent X-Mas with my family. Yup, just a nice normal X-Mas with my family.
Pic06

Christmas is always a time of love and understanding.
Pic07

The one thing I hate is how my family has to ask a Ba-gillion questions about my new job....
Pic08

Then I spent new years with my friends. We had fun... We had a LOT of fun...
Pic09

Sometimes you are the life of the party and sometimes you ARE the party. (NSFW)
Pic10

Now I spend my days at the bank surrounded by women. It's the estrogen ocean.
Pic11

I just sit there and wonder about marriage and then I remember something from long ago.
Pic12

On an upbeat... Winter is finally over because if it's not I am about ready to snap.
Pic13

I am just tired of all the crap you have to put up with because of snow. Like betrayal.
Pic14

So I am looking for a new car... Mine is on the way out so I am looking hard.
Pic15

I am looking through the Classifieds a lot... Never know just what you are going to find.
Pic16

Since I am saving all of my money, I can't go to the movies. I can only look them up on line.
Pic17

The last movie that I bought was the Matrix Special Collectors Edition. Behind the scenes stuff...
Pic18

I can't wait for Episode III and the next Batman movie. It should be good stuff.
Pic19

I am also trying to loose weight. I am taking a two step approach to this... Up & Down.
Pic20

I am also trying not to eat to much... I used to eat unnecessarily... like when I was bored...
Pic21

I am also going to stop drinking soda.... Drinking soda is like shaking hands with Satan.
Pic22

I am also trying to stay away from junk food. Specially anything strange and weird.
Pic23

I am also trying to exercise more. That means more running, yoga, and other sports.
Pic24

Ok I should just finish this... I should go to sleep... I am deathly tired...
Pic23

Let me finish this the way I started... I want to go shopping...
Pic26


Extra Reading

Monday, March 28, 2005

Scotty Doesn't Know

Scotty doesn't know that fiona and me do it in my van every sunday
She tells him she's in church but she doesn't go
Still she's on her knees and scotty doesn't know

Ohhh scotty doesn't know
So don't tell scotty

Fiona says she's out shopping
But she's under me and i'm not stopping

Cause scotty doesn't know
So don't tell scotty

I can't believe he's so trusting
While i'm right behind you thrusting
Fiona's got him on the phone
Yes she's trying not to moan
It's a threeway call and he knows nothing

One more show everyone will go
Scotty doesn't know

The... parking lot... why not?
It's so cool when your on top
It's full on in the snow
Life is so hard cause scotty doesn't know
Scotty doesn't know

...I did her on his birthday

Scotty doesn't know
Scott's gotta go...


Extra Reading

Tuesday, March 22, 2005

The Other Day...

So the other day I got this email... it's one of those emails that everyone just hits the forward button and sends it to all their friends with out adding anything to it. They never add anything new they just send it because they think it's clever and cute. Well i was tired of that so I decided to answer the stupid questions and call it a day

Only in America ...do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
...The reason for this is because pharmacists were treated in much the same way that alchemists were treated and thus they were relegated to the back of the store with this soda pop machines. Yes pharmacists were the first people to sell soda pop because of their medicinal properties.

Only in America...do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke!
...They like the taste. There are people out there who actually like the taste of diet better.

Only in America...do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
...People steal the pens. Now if that said they left the vault open then that would be different.

Only in America...do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
...That's because people are vain and they want to show off their nice cars. If you walk through Piermont this is very evident. In every drive way you will see a Mercedes as well as a Ford Escort.

Only in America...do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
...The reason why is because the history of hot dogs and and buns have actually developed differently over time. Of Of course a hot dog is really just a sausage and sausages go back to the ninth century B.C. when they were mentioned in Homers "Odyssey." In 1904 during the Louisiana Purchase Expedition Anton Feuchtwanger was giving out sausages along with gloves to handle the meat. When he did not get his gloves back his brother designed the bun we know today. From there bakers used a standard tray to make the buns. It did not matter how many buns where made per tray because before 1940 (when hot dogs were offered in cellophane packaging of ten to make then a convenient 1 pound) butchers used to just have long strings of hot dogs so one could buy how ever many they wanted.

Only in America...do we use the word "politics" to describe the process so well: "Poli" in Latin meaning "many" and "tics" meaning "bloodsucking creatures."
..."Tic" is not a word but "tick." Also any blood sucking arthropod this included both families of ticks, the Ixodidae (hard ticks), and Argasidae (soft ticks) only sucks blood to some degree and actually they spit the blood back out that's how disease is transmitted.

Only in America...do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.
...That's because regular ATM machines have Braille. The ATM machines that they put in drive-up ATM locations are the same ones they just change the location thus they have the same buttons.


EVER WONDER .....

Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin ?
...It bleaches out hair because it's decomposes it and it darkens out skin because of melanin.

Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?
...They are stretching their face so they can get the mascara everywhere.

Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
...Psychics are always too busy trying to figure out stupid things for other stupid people things to play the lottery... like how uncle Fred is doing in the after life... And if you want the real winning numbers look in a fortune cookie.

Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?
...The word "abbreviated" comes from the word L.L. abbreviationem (nom. abbreviatio). In Latin the word was used to shorten anything not just other words. I you notice that the route word "abbreviate" is only 10 letters while on the other hand "abbreviatio" is 11 letters.

Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?
...The noun is from 1421, originally as practise, from O.Fr. pratiser, from M.L. practicare. Also as practik, which survived in parallel into 19c. Practiced "expert" is from 1568. So the word practice actually derives from a word that used to mean or was a synonym to "expert."

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
...If the lemon juice sits for a long time then it is not good to eat but it is good to wash your dishes with. The cellular cohesion of the vitamin C molecules are the first things to break down.

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
...1377, from Anglo-Norm. brocour "small trader," from Anglo-Fr. abrokur "retailer of wine, tapster," perhaps Port. While the word "broke" has no relation to "broker" it does seem to be similar thus confusing.

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
...The word "rush" in "rush hour" is used to describe people's state of minds. Because everyone in the world thinks that they are too important to sit in traffic. They all have to hurry home so they can sit on the couch in front of the TV and ignore their wives.

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
...There is no mouse-flavored cat food because cats don't really eat mice they just play with them and then kill them. They just hunt the mice. Like any animal they eat when they are hungry and when they are hungry they eat anything. Plus my cat told me that mice taste just like chicken.

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
...Since Noah was always busy cleaning out all the crap from all the animal pens the mosquitoes did not bother him. Not to mention the fact that is only the female mosquito that sucks blood and since they only live for 14 days he probably did not have to worry too much about it. What about the termites?

Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
...Any and all medical procedures must follow a certain protocol. Not just to protect the patient but also the practitioner. I do not think there really is a market for used needles.

You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!
...The metal that the black box is made out of is actually a rather strong metal. It is strong thus it is very dense. If they whole plane was the same density as the metal of the black box then it would be too heavy to fly.

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
...On the sheep, the hair is coated with their body oil and protected from elements. In a garment, it is woven and fibrous and cleaned -- susceptible to curling when wet thus shortening the length of the fibers and shrinking up. The wool shrinks only after it has been spun in a certain fashion. There are different ways in which to spin sheep's wool. That's why on the inside of a well made suit jacket there is a little swirl wool symbol that is called the Woolmark tells you how it was spun. Sort of like an FDA thing for wool. If you don't see the symbol you just got ripped off because there is ifferent processing and lesser quality of wool.

Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
...The reason why they are called apartments is because they are separate (as in entrance and you do not see the other person) not separate (as in spaced apart).

If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
...The prefix con in Congress comes from the word congregate.

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
...That is where the flight ends...


Extra Reading

Saturday, March 5, 2005

The Power of Zro

Penguin: Why is it when you tell people that they should write out their whole acct number they get angry. For example YXXXXXX when they should be writing 0Y-000-XXXXXX then they get angry and exclaim that it’s only a couple of zeros. Well let me give you three dollars for this three hundred dollar check... its only a couple of zeros.

Fish: The front 0 can be left off.

Penguin: Thanks killer but you know what I mean.

Fish: People don’t understand banking in general.

Penguin: People do not understand the power of zro.

Fish: How relevant yet egotistical.


Extra Reading

Sunday, January 16, 2005

The Fish And The Penguin

Penguin: I miss my friends

Fish: ?

Penguin: I don’t know I just feel like I have not seen you in along time. Kinda stupid right?

Fish: ya

Penguin: Yeah that’s kind of stupid or yeah you feel the same way.

Fish: I don’t know just yah. I’m sorry you feel that way.

Penguin: Yeah me too. Is there anything I can do about it though. You know I had this idea the other day. I was just looking at people and how I just hate the way the change when their groups change. Why is that. Does that make them less real.

Fish: I’m not sure I follow.

Penguin: I don’t know I just feel disconnected from people right now. Like I don’t think people understand me.

Fish: Ohhhh. Sorry to tell you but no one really understands anyone.

Penguin: But I’m not that difficult. You know the other day this girl at Penney’s called me a racist. She was Hispanic and she was going on and on about how great the Hispanic culture was. I told her to go back if she thought it was so good. Of course as a Hispanic I am not allowed to say that because I should be oh so proud of my culture. I hate that crap so much it’s driving me crazy.

Fish: Yah. It’s one thing to be proud of your origins but you also have to be realistic and have a sense of humor about it. I’m Irish, but I’ll admit there are only 2 types of Irish people: those who drink and those who are dead.

Penguin: That’s what I was trying to say but she was not buying it. According to her the Hispanic culture is great and that is all. She did not want to be reminded of the Honda Civics, the tattoos of the Madre Guadalupe. Nothing. The worst part is she does not understand that I hate this division that one culture puts on to differentiate itself from another. Cultural pride eventually leads to everyone having a different water fountain and that bothers me to the point that it keeps me up at night.


Extra Reading

Thursday, January 13, 2005

Haunted When the Minutes Drag

The word that would best describe this feeling
Would be haunted
I touch the clothes you left behind
That still retain your shape and lines
Still haunted
I trace the outline of your eyes
We're in the mirror hypnotized
I'm haunted
I find a solitary hair
Gone and still I remenice
I'm haunted

Haunted by your soul
Haunted by your hair
Haunted by your clothes
Haunted by your eyes

So this is for when you feel happy
And this is for when you feel sad
And this is for when you feel...
Nothing

By your soul, by your hair
By your clothes, by your eyes
By your voice, by your smile

And this is for the tears that won't dry
And this is for a bright blue sky
And this is for when you feel...
Lucky

By your mouth, by your soul
By your hair, by your clothes
By your eyes, by your voice

So this is for when you're feeling happy again
And this is for when you're feeling sad
And this is for when you feel...
Something

By your smile, by your mouth
By your soul


Extra Reading