Feeling In Tongues.

Я не знаю, поймете ли Вы любое из этого, но я надеюсь, что Вы делаете. Я только хочу, чтобы Вы знали, что я сожалею обо всем. Я знаю, что Вы не можете говорить со мной прямо сейчас, но Вы должны знать, что, если Вы когда-либо нуждаетесь во мне, я всегда буду здесь для Вас. Все это время то, что мы не говорили, я не кричал все же, но когда мы добрались из телефона сегодня вечером, я не мог помочь этому. Все это снизилось и не было ничего, что я мог сделать, чтобы остановить это. Я обещаю, что однажды, если я когда-либо понимаю это, я возвращусь к Вам. Вы всегда будете любовью к моей жизни, и я буду всегда хотеть быть с Вами, даже если я буду бесполезен при любви Вас.

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Kalinka... Malinka... Maya...

So there was this other day that the girls that I went to the circus with, and I, went into the city... it was great. First of all I did not want to take my car so one of them said that she would use the Chrysler Sebring but she did not want to drive it in the city... I said that I would drive it if she would let me... She said she would... As we were about to get into the car I realized that it was a convertible... She asked if I wanted to put the top down... What kind of question was that?

We all got in and... boy was it nice to drive this car... We got to the city and we parked in a parking garage. It's not my car so I had to make sure that it was protected... Then we walked down Central Park and at 59th Street we took the Subway to Battery Park and we took this great ferry ride around the southern tip of Manhattan. If was great... We actually got to be underneath the Brooklyn Bridge... It was so great. We did not go to the Statue of Liberty but that's ok. I do not think that we really wanted to. Did I mention how great it was?

After the ferry ride we took another train ride and we went to the Intrepid Sea, Air & Space Museum. Then in all of my genius I figure we can walk from the Intrepid to the Empire State Building... It was crazy hot... The whole time we were walking to the empire state building we kept seeing all these tourists sticking their arms in the air for 12 minutes. It was as if they were hailing Fuehrer.

By the time that we got to the Empire State Building we still had to wait 45 minutes before they let us up to the observatory... When we finally got there I bought three bottles of water... two of them were for me... One of the girls had bought her own... It was great getting a bird's eye view of the city... We stuck out heads out between the bars so we could see the street bellow. Super scary...

When we were done with that we realized that we were to tired and it was too late to go to the New York Museum of Sex like we had planned... oh well... I figured since we were so tired we should just hail a cab. I stuck my arm out at the right time a cab came right to us... Total hailing time... 13 seconds... Like a real New Yorker...

We went to The Jekyll and Hyde Club on Sixth... The food was delicious and great... and the entertainment was awesome. Personally I liked 'Stick' but the girls like the bear... He was a stuffed bear but he was evil and fearsome. You had to be there... Hey what was his name again?

When we were done with dinner we walked up the park until we got to the car... While in the park we ran into this group of people that were having this concert of what I could only guess was Caribbean Music. It sounded great. It was one of those beats that just seemed to make me happy. No matter what it was so lively that it put and extra bounce in my step... It was rather cool... We did not want to stop so we continued walking up the park to where the car was... Granted we over shot the location of the parking garage by three blocks so we had to go back... by this time I had a blister in my left foot... We were all feeling the pain...

We put the top down and we just drove back home listening to Frank Sinatra enjoying the night away...

All in all it was one of the best days of the summer...

Then there was the Renaissance Fair... In all honesty I had a great time with everyone... Even the people that were add ons... lol... they were great too... But in the end all I can say about that is... I'm sorry...


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Bird on a Wire -- Leonard Cohen

Like a bird on a wire,
like a drunk in a midnight choir
I have tried in my way to be free.
Like a worm on a hook,
like a knight from some old fashioned book
I have saved all my ribbons for thee.
If I, if I have been unkind,
I hope that you can just let it go by.
If I, if I have been untrue
I hope you know it was never to you.

Like a baby, stillborn,
like a beast with his horn
I have torn everyone who reached out for me.
But I swear by this song
and by all that I have done wrong
I will make it all up to thee.
I saw a young man leaning on his wooden crutch,
he said to me, "You must not ask for so much."
And a pretty woman leaning in her darkened door,
she cried to me, "Hey, why not ask for more?"

Oh like a bird on a wire,
like a drunk in a midnight choir have tried in my way to be free.


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FISH!!!

Zro: So how do you know Fish?

???: Oh I worked with him in Nanuet.

Zro: Oh I feel sorry for you.

???: No... He is like me. He seems like a quiet guy…

Zro: You know, the last time Cliff was quiet someone hit him over the head with an aluminum baseball bat.

???: No... He really is like me. He is such a nice guy...

Zro: You know, the last time Cliff was nice it was right before I hit him over the head with an aluminum baseball bat.

Make note I think Fish is one of the greatest people on here earth and one of my greatest friends...


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From The WTF Were They Thinking Dept.

On July 22, 2005 ZDNet UK reported that On January of 2004 Microsoft tried to patent the Smiley face. Can you believe that how do you patent three characters on your keyboard. What are we going to do from now on... "I am so sad :-) (r)." Actually they have not patented the smiley as we know it. They have patented the encoding and transfer of CUSTOM smilies or an arbitrary image. :*-( While they probably wont use the patent against anyone it still seems to bug me that Microsoft had this much time on their hands. Hey how about they spend more money on their programmers and less money on their lawyers. May be that's why the made Windows XP... Haven't you noticed that is just a face sticking it's tongue out so much that it is grimacing.

These punks can just kiss my ass ( | ). It's not like it's not bad enough that they control the minds and souls of every pimple, pale faced virgin that thinks they want to be a hacker... :-( Really... Is it not enough that that they are donating thousands of computers to inner city schools. You might think that donations is a good thing but it is not. You are not looking it thought their evil eyes. >:-) They are just doing it so people get used to using Microsoft products and are thus Dependant on it... Hook them while they are young... :-O Just like the Catholic Church and the Tabacco Industry. They are just not telling anyone. :-&

The only reason why Microsoft has some strange control over the computers in the world is because people do know there are different things out there that one can try.

If you are using ................ Try Using
Microsoft Office ................ Open Office
Internet Explorer ............... Firefox
Windows Media Player ............ Winamp (music)
Windows Media Player ............ VLC Media (everything)
Outlook ......................... Thunderbird
Windows XP ...................... Linux
Windows Shell ................... LiteStep

In all cases these programs are free... As in beer... Not like Microsoft Office. In all cases these programs are more secure... As in a keg of beer. In all cases, except Winamp, these programs are open Source so that means that there is an army of people out there in the world trying to debug the program and making sure the program does not have any nefarious things running in the background. Like the way Windows Media Player by default allows websites to track where you have been on the Internet. Or the way Internet Explorer keeps ports open that allows websites to randomly install programs with out your consent.

So thats my rant... If you would like to see where you can get a look at the patent here is... if you continue to like using the programs that you are using please feel free. At the same time... please feel free NOT to call me when you are having problems. :-P.


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My Small Car Blues

As I have mentioned before I have a very little car... I really like small cars... I have this friend of mine that really like big cars. Actually I have two of them.. and they are both girls... And they are both short. I wonder what that is all about. I do not really like SUV's I figure that if you are not driving that SUV out in the mud at least once a week then that SUV is just a status symbol. If you have an SUV that has a leather interior then you are missing the point. If you are using Spray-On-Mud then you are officially a looser.

I am so happy that SUV sales have been falling this year... People were buying SUV's for safety but now that gas prices are going up the sale of SUV's is going down. That's great guys. I am happy that you have out the price of your safety at $2.36 / gallon.

There are only a three SUV's that I like... The Nissan Xterra because in the commercials the Nissan is actually driving through dirt. The other SUV that I like Jeep Wrangler. Because it was used by the army and it is really tough... (Did you know that Jeep stands for G.P. or General Purpose.) The third and final one is the Land Rover Freelander because for 75% of the world's population the first car they saw was the Land Rover.

When I mentioned this to one of my SUV loving friends she said I thought you liked the Hummer. I replied... "I was not talking about the car."

There is that line that everyone knows that I say... "an SUV is just a penis extender." There are those who disagree... but hen I read about this study from Cornell University researcher Robb Willer. Apparently the participants were randomly assigned feedback that indicated their responses were either masculine of feminine. The people who had their masculinity threatened also said they felt more ashamed, guilty, upset and hostile than those whose masculinity was confirmed, he said. While in this state those people had a tendency of supporting war more and wanting SUV's more...

That's it right there. Small penis... drive an SUV... it's all in the science.


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Memories of Happyness Turn to Pain

I wrote this the other day... I was not going to post it because it was making me all depressed... This afternoon I was sitting on my couch watching TV. I was feeling sorry for myself and I figured I would watch Queer Eye For the Straight Guy... I knew that would make me happy. Until I found out that the person that the Fab 5 were helping out was from the circus... All I could say was crap... But I figured that it's just a circus... Its not like it's the circus I went to... So I am watching the end of the show and... Yeah it's the same circus I went to... There is Grandma just running around being so cool... There was this one scene where Grandma is being silly and dumb so the ring master looks at grandma and says, "You know you are this far from an idiot." So grandma stops, looks at the ringmaster and then takes a step back... Somehow that joke amuses me every time.

I refuse to believe in fate...

But I do believe in recurring pain...

The other day I went to the circus with my friends. It is the greatest thing on the planet. I love the circus. Unfortunately there were no big animals. They had horses but they were so badly trained. The funny thing is that, no matter what, the circus is still fun. No matter how lame it is, the fact that it is a circus makes the whole thing fun. We sat there and just loved the whole thing. The whole point of going was because one of them had never been to the circus. So the whole time I am telling her that some always dies at the circus. At first she did not believe me but the more I kept repeating it the more she believed me. There was grandma... the greatest circus character ever...

There was actually a time when I was a kid and I wanted to run away to the circus... I actually did too. I went missing for a while... but I went back home... the first thing I was told was not "I miss you." It was, "Go take a shower you smell." The thing was I did not do anything... I did not even speak to the ringmaster or anything... Then again... I was like seven I do not really remember. It was weird needless to say. I realized that I did not want to shovel shit all day.

So anyway when the circus ended the three of us just left and we walked back to our cars... We were all holding hands and just staggering all about singing "The Lion Sleeps tonight." Everyone was looking at us... We did not care... And we had a great time.


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Fucking Analogies

I dreamed you had left my side
No warmth, not even pride remained

I woke to the sound of drums
The music played, the morning sun streamed in

I turned and I looked at you
And all but the bitter residue slipped away . . . slipped away

And even though you needed me
It was clear that I could not do a thing for you


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I Like Cake!

So here I sit in front of the Jewish museum... I have been meaning to come here for quiet a while... Wait... let me start from the beginning. I should introduce a friend of mine... I have been hanging out with this person for the better part of four months... at first she was just someone to go out with to have a few beers... Then she invited me to go to see a few museums with her. In one day we visited The Guggenheim, The Frick Collection and The Whitey Museum of American Art.

It was an insane day... In one day I had seen more museums than I had seen in the last two years... My favorite was the Frick. I really liked all the religious paintings. I do not know why but I really liked that stuff. The way all the artists portrayed religious icons was really interesting. My least favorite was The Guggenheim. They had this exhibit called the Eye of the Storm. All it was was a wall of mirrors going down the center of the building... I was really annoyed at it... While we were standing there I just said, really loud, "That's it... A wall of Mirrors... You could see that in a JCPenney changing room." Everyone in the museum was really pissed at me. Another thing that annoyed me in the Guggenheim was this exhibition by Rirkrit Tiravanij. It was by far the dumbest exhibition I had ever been too. All it was was information about sine waves... On one wall they had written information about electrical energy that could have been taken out of a DeVry text book. Then on the floor was this pile of blue prints and next to the pile of blue prints was this box of rubber bands... People were walking around the pile staring at it like it was a piece of the art collection... That is until I walked right up to it and rolled one of the blue prints up and took a rubber band... Let me tell you one lady almost had a heart attack that I was destroying the art... Until she realized that she was idiot for thinking that a pile of papers was art. By the time we left the room nearly everyone had taken a poster... I hate starting trends... The same thing happened at the Frick... There were these old chairs and I just sat down on one... This time this old man gave me this dirty look. But by the time I left the room... Every chair that could be sat on was occupied... I hate starting trends...

The next time we came back to the city we came for the sole intention of going to the Jewish Museum... On a Saturday... In a brilliant move of miscommunication and unforeseen cultural ignorance we went to the Jewish Museum on Saturday... On the day of the Shabbat. We still had a great time... The fist time we came to the city I said something along the lines of... "wow it's such a nice day. We should have parked on the East side and then walked across the park." She said, "No." She said she had already seen Central Park. Apparently one day is enough to see 843 acres. Thats 3.4 km² for you Europeans out there... That is 153 square city blocks...

Then as the day comes to an end she says something that describes her quiet well...

"You know... It's such a nice day... We should have parked on the East side and walked across." I stop dead in my tracks and just look at her and she laughs and walks away.

So next time we come to the city, on the day that we are supposed to go see the Jewish Museum, she says oh lets park on the East Side... Of course she has to park on Riverside... So that is 5 blocks across the Island then we have to walk across the park...

While we walk across the park we hit the Reservoir... We start walking south, or counter clockwise to the Reservoir... We are all the way to the right as people pass us on the left... Then out of no where this lady is running in the opposite direction... I make some of handed reference to that and my friend says... "Whats wrong with that is that a rule? Is that written somewhere?" As she says that we pass a sign that along the path way that clearly states that people should run counter clockwise around the Reservoir... I was very amused with myself... It was one of those things where the timing could not be any better...

We get to the Jewish Museum and when we realize that the museum is closed she asks if we can go to the American Museum Of Natural History. It was nice... We went to the room with all the Seals and the big whale... We also spent time in the Rose Center for Earth and Space. We saw the Passport to the Universe show. It was narrated by Tom Hanks. Then we went to The New York Historical Society... There we saw the First Ladies of New York and The Nation. It was and exhibition about the Eleanor Roosevelt and Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis. It was nice to learn about these two great women that helped change the landscape of the city... All in all it was a good day...

The great part about that week was that two days later we went to see the Home of Franklin D. Roosevelt and the Vanderbilt Mansion in Hyde Park. It felt kind of cool that we were doing that since we had just been to the Historical Society.

Anyhow... Back to the Jewish Museum... They are having a great exhibit on the book, Where the Wild Things Are. So far this day has been kind of interesting... It took me 45 minutes to get from my house to 92nd street. I should have parked around 81st street so I could just walk across the park... But There was this guy who was struggling to fit penis extender (SUV) into this parking space so when he gave up I just parked in there in two moves just to show him.

Well I walked across and as soon as I got into the park I was stopped by someone I used to know. I took me 45 minutes to cross the park...

So in conclusion, it takes me the same amount of time to drive 22 miles as it does to walk across three city blocks... make note. Actually in conclusion it is nice to know how much my friend is changing my life... for some reason I had never really had that much interest in all of these things but now I am going to museums on my own... It's cool... I really like it...


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