Memories of Happyness Turn to Pain

I wrote this the other day... I was not going to post it because it was making me all depressed... This afternoon I was sitting on my couch watching TV. I was feeling sorry for myself and I figured I would watch Queer Eye For the Straight Guy... I knew that would make me happy. Until I found out that the person that the Fab 5 were helping out was from the circus... All I could say was crap... But I figured that it's just a circus... Its not like it's the circus I went to... So I am watching the end of the show and... Yeah it's the same circus I went to... There is Grandma just running around being so cool... There was this one scene where Grandma is being silly and dumb so the ring master looks at grandma and says, "You know you are this far from an idiot." So grandma stops, looks at the ringmaster and then takes a step back... Somehow that joke amuses me every time.

I refuse to believe in fate...

But I do believe in recurring pain...

The other day I went to the circus with my friends. It is the greatest thing on the planet. I love the circus. Unfortunately there were no big animals. They had horses but they were so badly trained. The funny thing is that, no matter what, the circus is still fun. No matter how lame it is, the fact that it is a circus makes the whole thing fun. We sat there and just loved the whole thing. The whole point of going was because one of them had never been to the circus. So the whole time I am telling her that some always dies at the circus. At first she did not believe me but the more I kept repeating it the more she believed me. There was grandma... the greatest circus character ever...

There was actually a time when I was a kid and I wanted to run away to the circus... I actually did too. I went missing for a while... but I went back home... the first thing I was told was not "I miss you." It was, "Go take a shower you smell." The thing was I did not do anything... I did not even speak to the ringmaster or anything... Then again... I was like seven I do not really remember. It was weird needless to say. I realized that I did not want to shovel shit all day.

So anyway when the circus ended the three of us just left and we walked back to our cars... We were all holding hands and just staggering all about singing "The Lion Sleeps tonight." Everyone was looking at us... We did not care... And we had a great time.


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