Jesus and Static Gaurd

Ok so I was going to post something depressing but who needs that crap. Right now I have six, count them six, version of Leonard Cohen's "Hallelujah." We will get back to that on later posts. Some people ask, "Why do you listen to that when you are depressed. Doesn't that make it worse." My answer is yes. Don't you realize that that is what I want. I'm not talking about just being sad because someone down the street ran over your dog. This is the kind of sadness that makes you feed your kids cereal for dinner because you couldn't give two shits as you say to yourself, "Fuck it the world isn't even worth saving."

On to the happy stuff.

Well Monday I returned to one of my jobs and everything was ok until ... static cling. I swear a small fuzzy cat would burst into flames from the electro-magnetic radiation in that place. Well so off to buy yet another bottle of Static Guard.

A couple of Saturday's ago I went out and I was so nervous for some stupid reason. How nervous was I? Well I'll tell you. I had to put static guard on my pants so I toss them on the bed and proceed with the spraying. As I spray I'm thinking, "Wow Static Guard smells really good today." Much to my surprise I was using my deodorant. I go to work with a REALLY nice pair of pants that won't stick to anything. Later on in my ripped up T-shirt and non-stick pants I think, "Fuck it the world isn't even worth saving."

Well at the CVS. I look at the stationary isle. I love that isle. I'll buy pens for no reason. Anywhere I go I go the stationary. Shop-Rite, CVS, Wallgreens, CVS, Rite-Aid, even the stupid .99cent store. Don't even get me started on Staples. Well there they have a magazine isle. There they have magazines about "The Passion Of Christ." Jesus, this movie is getting on my nerves. On the magazine it says, "The secrets behind the miracles of Passion." I'll tell you the secrets behind the miracles of that movie ... Special Effects.” All that blood ... Kool-Aid.

The other day this guy I work with had seen that movie. He tells me that he likes that movie but it's not that believable because he doesn't think anybody could get a beating like that and still live. First of all he hasn't live with my mother. Secondly the reason why that movie is not believable is because its about JESUS. Don't you understand Jesus is a really great guy. Not as a personal savior, just as someone you can borrow money from.

Oh well that movie just got kicked out of the number one spot by "Dawn of the Dead." Which goes to show you that one un-dead guy is good but 100's of them is better. I'm really happy that movie is no longer number one. Who wants to see a movie about an Easter Vacation gone terribly wrong. I mean the guy can't even play hand ball anymore.

As I look at the Passion poster, I think ... Jesus died for our sins. Shit we better get our moneys worth after all the world isn't even worth saving.

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